Even when I had the chance to work with Reginald Hudlin, who’d become like a mentor to me after seeing my film, Young Boys, Inc., I couldn’t relax. He put me in a movie called Serving Sara, starring Matthew Perry. Because this was my first job acting for Reginald, and he was my friend and my mentor, I pulled him aside, literally, after every scene.
“How was that?”
“How was that?”
“How was that?”
Finally, he wasn’t playing anymore. “Terry, if I said ‘cut,’ it was good,” he said, sounding irritated.
I suddenly got how much I’d been bugging him. I hadn’t meant to, but I didn’t believe he was telling me the truth when he said I was good. Part of being such an extreme perfectionist was that I never trusted any compliment I was given, and I was always fishing for more. If two people said I did a good job, then I needed five people to say I was good. It could go on to infinity. And, ultimately, it was a losing game. I doubted everything I did. I wanted to be good so badly that I went over my lines until I was delirious. On top of that, I was such a pleaser that I would never make any suggestions to a director or question anything I was told. Even if I wasn’t qualified to do a stunt, I did it. I felt like my job was to do whatever I was told, no matter how crazy. “Whatever you tell me, I’ll do,” I said.
- Terry Crews (2014-05-20T00:00:00+00:00). Manhood (Kindle Locations 2657-2662). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.