Poll

BP710 Story Ideas     Deadlines for selection: November 22, 2017

Death Be Not Proud-The final days of T'Chaka the Black Panther
1 (16.7%)
Lost in Space-The search for the Vibranium asteroid field
2 (33.3%)
Doomwar-The Black Payback: T'Challa v Doom as it should've been
0 (0%)
Black on Black violence-The on panel fight between the Black Panther and Black Dwarf
0 (0%)
Where is the Love-The romance of T'Challa and Ororo
0 (0%)
Sweat of the Panther-Steampunk Wakanda
1 (16.7%)
Beware Of Geek's Reply #4210 on: October 22, 2017, 07:39:29 am
1 (16.7%)
Battle's Supreme nomination  Reply #4208 on: October 22, 2017, 04:59:32 am
1 (16.7%)
Kickin' it with Kip Lewis Reply #4238 on: October 25, 2017, 08:21:20 pm
0 (0%)
Other
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 3

Voting closed: November 22, 2017, 07:45:54 pm

Author Topic: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS  (Read 1096038 times)

Offline Ture

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4605 on: June 27, 2019, 09:41:22 pm »
>>>Ture



Very good.  :)

Regardless of any of my criticism as I will always offer any feedback should you require it, you are well on your way to becoming a great writer.   

So, when are you gonna come out with some real stuff for us to read?

Thank you  Brother Battle. It is essential for writers, especially novice ones like myself, to receive evaluations, appraisals of their work.

As a matter of fact I've actually started outlining an original story. Once I finish tidying up BP710...
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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4606 on: June 27, 2019, 09:57:24 pm »
I will admit, I was confused the First time around reading this. I think part of what threw me off was the part "He could of flown, he could of chosen any Wakandan aircraft"

As well as reading too fast the first time as well. When slowing down and reading it again it makes sense, but even still it's a very well out together read. The details, the dialogue, the inner feelings it's very well done. I was able to paint a very good mental picture of the scene in my head.

This is one hell of a chapter. I like the shift in tone, I wasn't the biggest fan of McGregor but I admit he had some beautiful poetics and could get you wrapped up in the moment. I look forward to the next chapter. And I also look forward to the day we see these great visuals your describing


Much gratitude and many thanks Brother Ezyo. I was trying to leave clues so when one goes over the details after reaching the end, one could see it was all staring them right in the face the whole time. Painting a picture for the minds eye was exactly what I was attempting to do.

Man, if I could find someone to collaborate with, we may Coates a run for his money. Again sincere appreciation for your words fam.
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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4607 on: June 27, 2019, 10:00:17 pm »
>>>Ture


Also remember, consider your audience.

Comicbook writing is a compromise of sequential art, popular culture & serial storytelling.  Comicbook writing is a little bit of everything for almost every age group who are passionate enthusiasts of the medium.

Mario Puzo (writer of 'The Godfather') tried to write for MARVEL and failed.

Why?   Because he couldn't conform to the comicbook format and audience at the time.  He needed another writer's platform to present his ideas.
Mr. Puzo needed a platform like Hollywood.

The comicbook format in the 1960s & 1970s is VERY different from today. 

In my opinion, the comicbook format is very, very simplified, today.  Similar to a storyboarding & screenplay writing.  Mr. Puzo would've fared much better in this modern format.



My point is to not confuse your readers but to cleverly draw them in without alienating them.

Very well stated. I will keep in mind what you shared.
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Offline Ezyo

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4608 on: June 28, 2019, 06:35:02 pm »
I will admit, I was confused the First time around reading this. I think part of what threw me off was the part "He could of flown, he could of chosen any Wakandan aircraft"

As well as reading too fast the first time as well. When slowing down and reading it again it makes sense, but even still it's a very well out together read. The details, the dialogue, the inner feelings it's very well done. I was able to paint a very good mental picture of the scene in my head.

This is one hell of a chapter. I like the shift in tone, I wasn't the biggest fan of McGregor but I admit he had some beautiful poetics and could get you wrapped up in the moment. I look forward to the next chapter. And I also look forward to the day we see these great visuals your describing


Much gratitude and many thanks Brother Ezyo. I was trying to leave clues so when one goes over the details after reaching the end, one could see it was all staring them right in the face the whole time. Painting a picture for the minds eye was exactly what I was attempting to do.

Man, if I could find someone to collaborate with, we may Coates a run for his money. Again sincere appreciation for your words fam.


Weren't you working with Apex a while back? Or did time constraints become an issue?

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4609 on: June 28, 2019, 09:03:59 pm »
I will admit, I was confused the First time around reading this. I think part of what threw me off was the part "He could of flown, he could of chosen any Wakandan aircraft"

As well as reading too fast the first time as well. When slowing down and reading it again it makes sense, but even still it's a very well out together read. The details, the dialogue, the inner feelings it's very well done. I was able to paint a very good mental picture of the scene in my head.

This is one hell of a chapter. I like the shift in tone, I wasn't the biggest fan of McGregor but I admit he had some beautiful poetics and could get you wrapped up in the moment. I look forward to the next chapter. And I also look forward to the day we see these great visuals your describing


Much gratitude and many thanks Brother Ezyo. I was trying to leave clues so when one goes over the details after reaching the end, one could see it was all staring them right in the face the whole time. Painting a picture for the minds eye was exactly what I was attempting to do.

Man, if I could find someone to collaborate with, we may Coates a run for his money. Again sincere appreciation for your words fam.


Weren't you working with Apex a while back? Or did time constraints become an issue?

Yes,I was. I'm not sure about time constraints but other factors were a concern. Apex would be better suited to explain such matters Ezyo.
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Offline Ezyo

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4610 on: June 29, 2019, 03:31:10 pm »
I see. A shame. Of i had the time,and knew how to draw in comic form rather then single drawings of characters I would love to illustrate some of this stuf, even if it was just a mini 10-12 pager

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS
« Reply #4611 on: July 10, 2019, 10:00:40 pm »
I see. A shame. Of i had the time,and knew how to draw in comic form rather then single drawings of characters I would love to illustrate some of this stuf, even if it was just a mini 10-12 pager

I see you got a reply from Apexabyss. Interesting though as I see his point, I kind of see myself as complementary to what should be considered logical in story continuity. What say you Ezyo?
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Offline Battle

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4612 on: July 11, 2019, 05:29:52 am »
I see. A shame. Of i had the time,and knew how to draw in comic form rather then single drawings of characters I would love to illustrate some of this stuf, even if it was just a mini 10-12 pager.



At your skill level, you don't need to complete 10 - 12 pages because that's too far ahead.

If you can draw just 2 panels, that's sufficient.   Just 2 panel story episodes.   

A writer/artist team can pour a tremendous amount of story material into just 2 panels per cycle.

If you can handle 2 panels per cycle comfortably, then you can slowly handle 1 page which is 6 panels...? Yeah. 6 panels per page.
Writing comics is similar to writing music; completing little melodies that progress to larger symphonies.

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4613 on: July 11, 2019, 05:42:30 am »
I see. A shame. Of i had the time,and knew how to draw in comic form rather then single drawings of characters I would love to illustrate some of this stuf, even if it was just a mini 10-12 pager.



At your skill level, you don't need to complete 10 - 12 pages because that's too far ahead.

If you can draw just 2 panels, that's sufficient.   Just 2 panel story episodes.   

A writer/artist team can pour a tremendous amount of story material into just 2 panels per cycle.

If you can handle 2 panels per cycle comfortably, then you can slowly handle 1 page which is 6 panels...? Yeah. 6 panels per page.
Writing comics is similar to writing music; completing little melodies that progress to larger symphonies.


Thanks for providing me some of the education I need regarding the artistic side of comic book page etc creation. I had zero idea that there were 6 panels per page, etc. I'm essentially supreme "ignorati" regarding the artistic side and frankly the writing, scripting, etc side of comic book writing.
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Offline Battle

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4614 on: July 11, 2019, 05:57:58 am »
Thanks for providing me some of the education I need regarding the artistic side of comic book page etc creation. I had zero idea that there were 6 panels per page, etc. I'm essentially supreme "ignorati" regarding the artistic side and frankly the writing, scripting, etc side of comic book writing.




Supreme, check out the older comicbooks from the 1960s,  and especially the 1970s.  If you were to deconstruct those books, you'd see that each page is really just a compilation of an aligned 2 panel story episodes neatly truncated on a single page:


1 page
2 panels
2 panels
2 panels


If you were to read each 2 panel set, they end in a little cliffhanger similar to what you'd see in a newspaper comic strip.  Then you go the next page.

Sometimes, the writer/artist team may just complete a single 1 page (which gets them faster to the end of the book).

Jack Kirby was clever enough to draw 1 single panel between 2 pages. Remembers those?  No one ever (to my knowledge) did that before!
« Last Edit: July 11, 2019, 09:02:04 am by Battle »

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4615 on: July 11, 2019, 08:01:51 pm »
Thanks for providing me some of the education I need regarding the artistic side of comic book page etc creation. I had zero idea that there were 6 panels per page, etc. I'm essentially supreme "ignorati" regarding the artistic side and frankly the writing, scripting, etc side of comic book writing.




Supreme, check out the older comicbooks from the 1960s,  and especially the 1970s.  If you were to deconstruct those books, you'd see that each page is really just a compilation of an aligned 2 panel story episodes neatly truncated on a single page:


1 page
2 panels
2 panels
2 panels


If you were to read each 2 panel set, they end in a little cliffhanger similar to what you'd see in a newspaper comic strip.  Then you go the next page.

Sometimes, the writer/artist team may just complete a single 1 page (which gets them faster to the end of the book).

Jack Kirby was clever enough to draw 1 single panel between 2 pages. Remembers those?  No one ever (to my knowledge) did that before!

I remember the 1970's comics. They had some panels like this, remember?

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4616 on: July 11, 2019, 08:46:47 pm »
I remember the 1970's comics. They had some panels like this, remember?




Romita Sr., correct? 


Yeah...  :)
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!  This is just 1 single panel giving the readers the full gamut of mighty MARVEL goodness!

We even know what the hapless web-slinger is thinking: Oh no! Spidey's in trouble! Real trouble from the relentless, cruel & calculating Kraven the Hunter!

What will Spidey do next???

Join with HEF, true believer, and find out next week!!!

'Nuff Said!

Offline Ezyo

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS
« Reply #4617 on: July 14, 2019, 02:26:00 pm »
I see. A shame. Of i had the time,and knew how to draw in comic form rather then single drawings of characters I would love to illustrate some of this stuf, even if it was just a mini 10-12 pager

I see you got a reply from Apexabyss. Interesting though as I see his point, I kind of see myself as complementary to what should be considered logical in story continuity. What say you Ezyo?

Personally i kinda see what he meant about it, however, I would take aspects I didn't like (though j would keep it recent) and fix that, using I story plots and (sparingly) retcons.

For instance the Djalia and 'mother' I would turn mother into a villain, who's been lying to Shuri and Tchalla about Wakandas history. I don't subscribe to the notion that Wakanda is essentially no different then Columbus only worse for being hypocrites.  So she would give Shuri these 'memories' of Wakanda and powers but in reality she is using it to try and take over Shuris body and Tchalla has to find the truth behind what's going on whilst turning mother into a powerful villain, fixing the messed up continuity Coates is injecting, while also giving Wakanda  back it's identity by being special because of their own efforts and Ingenuity, and not from some ambiguous Orishas we have never seen, or done anything yet are claiming glory from Wakanda without a good reason other then to bring T'Challa and Wakanda down

 

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS
« Reply #4618 on: July 14, 2019, 08:01:07 pm »
I see. A shame. Of i had the time,and knew how to draw in comic form rather then single drawings of characters I would love to illustrate some of this stuf, even if it was just a mini 10-12 pager

I see you got a reply from Apexabyss. Interesting though as I see his point, I kind of see myself as complementary to what should be considered logical in story continuity. What say you Ezyo?

Personally i kinda see what he meant about it, however, I would take aspects I didn't like (though j would keep it recent) and fix that, using I story plots and (sparingly) retcons.

For instance the Djalia and 'mother' I would turn mother into a villain, who's been lying to Shuri and Tchalla about Wakandas history. I don't subscribe to the notion that Wakanda is essentially no different then Columbus only worse for being hypocrites.  So she would give Shuri these 'memories' of Wakanda and powers but in reality she is using it to try and take over Shuris body and Tchalla has to find the truth behind what's going on whilst turning mother into a powerful villain, fixing the messed up continuity Coates is injecting, while also giving Wakanda  back it's identity by being special because of their own efforts and Ingenuity, and not from some ambiguous Orishas we have never seen, or done anything yet are claiming glory from Wakanda without a good reason other then to bring T'Challa and Wakanda down

 




You see why I like this guy^^^?
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Offline Ture

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS
« Reply #4619 on: August 21, 2019, 11:42:14 pm »
PRELUDE TO PANTHER X



"OK Shuri, I showed you mine now show me yours." Shuri smirks "For a man who shrinks down to the size of an insect there is insufficient levity in that comment Dr. Pym." "Ha. Ha. Very funny Princess." replies Dr. Pym. "I feel sorry for his wife." comments Ayo. "I heard that." murmurs Dr. Pym . "Of course you did, I did not whisper." Ayo says encouraging the banter. "I'll have you know I can also grow to 65 feet in height." Ayo counters "Someone is overcompensating." "Of the two of us which one is married? Happily I might add." "Unlike Mrs. Pym I set my goals a bit higher than genius scientist." "Oh really. I thought that tradition was dead and buried." fires back Dr. Pym.

"You must study your Wakandan history with an eye to detail Dr Pym. While it is true in contemporary times the Dora Milaje are legion that was not always the case. Throughout Wakandan antiquity there have always been only two who stood by the king." "Yea, I know. Wives in training." volleys Dr. Pym. "Wives do need training... as do husbands Dr. Pym but that was not the purpose of the Dora Milaje. They were the right and left hand of the king. The Dora Milaje were spiritually bonded with the king, complementing his thoughts and actions. It was the misdeeds of a rouge Dora that incited King T'Challa to make the two hands into multiple fists."

"Back to the question at hand Shuri. You are experiencing the Pym particle as we speak. When do I get to try the Shadow particle?" asks Dr. Pym. "According to the paper T'Challa published it is capable of entering a substratum of the quantum realm I'm not familiar with." All in good time Dr Pym. You know how we Wakandans are about our proprietary science and technology." replies Shuri. "While we wait, let me tell you a story. A tale about our beloved King's first encounter with the First Family."

Hudlin Faithful let us depart before more small talk occurs and visit another part of our illustrious 710 universe.

Nu Azani, a region in southern Azania. The Vogelmenschen' Building. Trans National Eugenics Headquarters.

Gentlemen the human race is at a crossroads. One hundred years ago, Azania opened its boarders to the world for investment opportunities and technological exchanges. Foreign monies and foreign ideas come with foreign people. Some of the foreigners came with an agenda. We were such. For a brief period Azania fell under the influence of our eugenics movement and we developed a government based in the ideology of Eugenocracy.

My fellow eugenicist, we are loosing our beloved country. Having been on this dark continent for a little more than a century, we have brought religion and technology, the very foundations of civilization to a land of primitives. We raised the standard of living and improved the quality of life by careful selection of those who were worthy of such. And those selected from the indigenous population were made all the better for our having done such.

It was by our design that their first black Eugenocractic selected president Moses Magnum came to office. But what do we receive in return for all our efforts? Governmental interference, economic flux, uprisings, civil unrest, rioting and looting. The inmates are running the asylum because we failed to realize that even among the primitives superior abilities breed superior ambitions.

These events were not orchestrated by the leaders of our fatherlands, no. Nor were they manipulations our occidental brethren. In fact it was the aforementioned countries that provided the necessary intelligence that revealed our true adversary. These acts, the very declaration of war, were the machinations of Wakanda.

We, the human purist, know we are now dealing with offshoot of the primitives. They are not mutants. They are something worse, a product of inbreeding due voluntary isolation. While mutation does indeed adulterate the gene pool the number of mutants are too low to represent an immediate threat but the Wakandans are an ambitious infection that seeks to dominate its host. Eradication must be immediate and final. To this end we have six test subjects who have successfully completed the first three stages of the regeneration process. The Americans have their Avengers... we shall have our Supremacists.

Thank you for those opening remarks Dr. Otto Pretorius.

If I know my Hudlin Faithful, you're ready for some more small talk. Back to Shuri and company.

Wait a minute, you're tellin' me Johnny Storm breathes fire! exclaims Dr Pym. More like vomits flame after receiving a side kick to the gut. says Shuri. Hold on. The Human Torch's body radiates approximately 2,800 F and he is capable of releasing all of his stored energy in one intense, omni-directional "nova-burst," which can reach about 1,000,000 F. I know, I helped helped Reed test the limits of their powers. Dr Pym retorts. How did the Black Panther deal with that?

Vibranium enhanced endothermic layering throughout his habit which allows plasma absorption and redistribution. His gloves and boots have ports for discharging all that received energy. Shuri emphatically states. It was T'Challa's a spinning crescent kick to the head that ended the fight however. Shuri adds. Directing much of that absorbed energy at Susan Richards taxed her protective force field allowing T'Challa's vibranium claws to literally rip it open and subdue her with a knock out gas.


COMING UP NEXT... Shuri concludes her tale with the Black Panther taking on the the Big Brain himself and the Ever Lovin' Blue eyed Thing. Don't worry Hudlin Faithful, those merry Mutants are on their way as well as the sense shattering Supremacist!
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