Poll

BP710 Story Ideas     Deadlines for selection: November 22, 2017

Death Be Not Proud-The final days of T'Chaka the Black Panther
1 (16.7%)
Lost in Space-The search for the Vibranium asteroid field
2 (33.3%)
Doomwar-The Black Payback: T'Challa v Doom as it should've been
0 (0%)
Black on Black violence-The on panel fight between the Black Panther and Black Dwarf
0 (0%)
Where is the Love-The romance of T'Challa and Ororo
0 (0%)
Sweat of the Panther-Steampunk Wakanda
1 (16.7%)
Beware Of Geek's Reply #4210 on: October 22, 2017, 07:39:29 am
1 (16.7%)
Battle's Supreme nomination  Reply #4208 on: October 22, 2017, 04:59:32 am
1 (16.7%)
Kickin' it with Kip Lewis Reply #4238 on: October 25, 2017, 08:21:20 pm
0 (0%)
Other
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 3

Voting closed: November 22, 2017, 07:45:54 pm

Author Topic: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS  (Read 1079818 times)

Offline Battle

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4575 on: June 17, 2019, 12:24:14 pm »
>>>Ture

Regarding CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH:

Much, much better.   :)
Would this be T'Challa & Storm as young adults?   I ask because of Ororo's acceptance to Xavier's School of the Gifted.


Can you write a scene that takes place in America, at Xavier's School of the Gifted, right after Ororo's acceptance letter was sent?   

What's going on over there?

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OVER 1 MILLION VIEWS
BP710:THE PROTOCOLS
Much appreciation to my HEF fam for all the support over these many years.


CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH

T'Challa begins to run and quickly vanishes from Namor's view. He leaps over a small sand dune to his hovering Talon Fighter. T'challa senses a change in the wind currents and looks up.

Ororo : "So now you walk on water and can summon objects with a thought. What's next  casting vibranium lightening from your fingers and manipulating tsunamis? Sure you're not a god or maybe Djaliafo?"

T'Challa : "Ororo, why are you here?"

Ororo : "I thought you might need some help."

T'Challa : "You did not."

Ororo : "Want a lift back to the Golden City?"

T'Challa : "I don't require a..."

Ororo : "Too late."

T'Challa signals his Talon Fighter to remotely pilot itself back to the Golden City. The Black Panther and Storm travel in silence save for the command T'Challa gives Kimoyo to permit them to enter safely through the defense shield.

Ororo : "Arms folded across your chest, standing so erect. You fly with such regal baring. What would happen if I turned you upside down."

In minutes they land on the observation deck of the Wakandan Royal Palace where Nakia and Okoye are waiting to receive their king. After saluting one another Okoye breaks the silence.

Okoye : "A most profound victory my sovereign. As always you do Wakanda and its people proud."

T'Challa : "Ashante sana Okoye, ashante."

Okoye : "Ashante na wewe. Shuri left the observation post after you took Namor to the desert. She said she knew how that part would end. She also requested you come to visit her in the lab after the storm... her words. With your permission my sovereign I will take my leave of you to finish a training regimen."

T'Challa : "By all means of course. Wakanda Forever."

Okoye : "Wakanda Forever."

T'Challa, Nakia and Ororo proceed through the maze of corridors that line the palace. T'Challa's armor nano techs into a formal tunic, pants and sandles.

Nakia : "I never tire of seeing that. Those outside Wakanda postulate that it is done using the unstable molecules that Dr Richards discovered before the accident. Some even suggest that Dr. Richards' intellect rivals your own my king."

T'Challa : "Rivals?"

Nakia : "Still others have even gone so far as to suggest that with the increase of mutations and meta humans in the west you may even rank at number eight with regards to who is the world's smartest genius."

T'Challa : "Eighth?" 

T'Challa smiles.

T'Challa : "Is it your intent to invoke my ire."

Nakia : "If you want to impress upon me your ferocity and indignation you should pull me close, press your body against mine. Speak your words slow and methodical. Make me feel your authority, passionately threatening.  Make it intimate. Who is to say what my response would be."

T'Challa : "Now that you have my attention..."

Nakia smiles.

Nakia : "I shall take my leave now, my sovereign. With your permission of course."

T'Challa : "Of course. Wakanda Forever."

Nakia : "Wakanda Forever."

Nakia salutes T'Challa and winks at Ororo.  As Nakia walks away her footfalls are not heard and just mere yards away she melts into the shadows.

Ororo : "You are so going to have problems with that one."

T'Challa and Ororo exit the palace and enter the grand expanse of the Cascading Promenade and visit its many shops.

Ororo : "It so amazing, no money, no credit or debits. You just take what you want."

T'Challa : "More accurately one is given what one needs."

For the next hour they walk , then the silence is broken when Ororo whispers "I don't think I'll ever want to live anywhere else." T'Challa smiles. They run up the spiraling staircase of the Amber Pagoda."   

T'Challa : "Are you tired?"

Ororo : "No, but then I didn't just fight an Atlantean warrior king."

T'Challa : "Atlantean 'roid rage in a Speedo. Let us walk."

Ororo : "No more flying?"

T'Challa : "No more flying. I like to walk. And I like the way you walk. And Birnin Zana is the city to walk in."

Ororo : "It's a beautiful city. The most beautiful city I've ever seen."

T'Challa : "It will take more than a week to see it all. Can you not stay longer?"

Ororo : "No, I have to go to school. I've been accepted at the Xavier institute."

T'Challa : "Accepted? The Xavier institute?"

Ororo : "Didn't you study abroad?"

T'Challa : "I wouldn't call what I did study in the traditional sense. I traveled the world and beyond to perfect techniques and stratagems to determine ways and measures to defeat any and all threats to the realm. The best knowledge based education is to be had here in Wakanda."

They stop along the bridge crossing Tranquility lake.

Ororo : "What's that?"

T'Challa : "The Birnin Zana Royal Conservatory."

Ororo : "You didn't even look.

T'Challa : "I didn't order it moved."

Ororo : "I guess you showed it to lots of women on this bridge."

T'Challa : "One or two."

Ororo : "Nakia and Monica I would wager."

T'Challa : "You'ld loose. Monica has yet to visit Wakanda. Ororo, I've read his work. Charles Xavier's views are extreme. He borders on being a mutant supremacist."

Ororo : "You have him confused with Dr Erik Lehnsherr."

T'Challa : "His theories on meta-humans born with abilities are all based in the ascendancy of genetic mutations. He will diagnose you as such in an attempt to get you to believe you are more than Afrakan while in reality he has lessened you as whole being... and equally important, as belonging to the Djalia."

Ororo : "Didn't you promise me some vegan Wat and Melktert? I hear Wakanda has the worlds best plant based cuisine."

T'Challa : "It won't fly away."

Ororo : "No, but I might."

T'Challa : "You might? Fly away from the garden spot of the Wakandan Interstellar Community."

Ororo : "I don't want to debate on an empty stomach."

T'Challa inhales deeply.

T'Challa : "I think I better get you that Wat and Melktert."

Ororo smiles.

Ororo : "I think you better.





Not only do I really like the additions to the already powerful, image evoking, attention grabbing original dialogue that you wrote, Brother Ture, I reeeaaalllly like that your BP710 has gone viral! That's OUT. STANDING!! Your story is the most read BP fanfic that I know of, as I don't know of ANY BP fanfic that has hit even HALF a million. Including my own. I really like the extra insight into the various characters you include in this Chapter. Shuri's voice. Storm's voice. Rings true. Even the spin you have on Nakia's character rings true and believable. I'm reading about people who I somehow know, yet at the same time I'm reading about people who I wish I knew and/or wish I was like.

Keep! Up! The! RECORD BREAKING! Fanfic GOAT! Work!
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Offline Ezyo

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4577 on: June 17, 2019, 08:34:56 pm »
Good stuff Ture, congrats and the 1 mil views. Definitely a good read. I would love to see this illustrated. It deserves it.

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4578 on: June 18, 2019, 12:47:35 am »
>>>Ture

Regarding CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH:

Much, much better.   :)
Would this be T'Challa & Storm as young adults?   I ask because of Ororo's acceptance to Xavier's School of the Gifted.


Can you write a scene that takes place in America, at Xavier's School of the Gifted, right after Ororo's acceptance letter was sent?   

What's going on over there?

Thank you Battle. You are correct, this is indeed Ororo and T'Challa as young adults. You've read my mind Battle as the next chapter does in fact take place at a certain school for the gifted.
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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4579 on: June 18, 2019, 01:03:44 am »
OVER 1 MILLION VIEWS
BP710:THE PROTOCOLS
Much appreciation to my HEF fam for all the support over these many years.


CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH

T'Challa begins to run and quickly vanishes from Namor's view. He leaps over a small sand dune to his hovering Talon Fighter. T'challa senses a change in the wind currents and looks up.

Ororo : "So now you walk on water and can summon objects with a thought. What's next  casting vibranium lightening from your fingers and manipulating tsunamis? Sure you're not a god or maybe Djaliafo?"

T'Challa : "Ororo, why are you here?"

Ororo : "I thought you might need some help."

T'Challa : "You did not."

Ororo : "Want a lift back to the Golden City?"

T'Challa : "I don't require a..."

Ororo : "Too late."

T'Challa signals his Talon Fighter to remotely pilot itself back to the Golden City. The Black Panther and Storm travel in silence save for the command T'Challa gives Kimoyo to permit them to enter safely through the defense shield.

Ororo : "Arms folded across your chest, standing so erect. You fly with such regal baring. What would happen if I turned you upside down."

In minutes they land on the observation deck of the Wakandan Royal Palace where Nakia and Okoye are waiting to receive their king. After saluting one another Okoye breaks the silence.

Okoye : "A most profound victory my sovereign. As always you do Wakanda and its people proud."

T'Challa : "Ashante sana Okoye, ashante."

Okoye : "Ashante na wewe. Shuri left the observation post after you took Namor to the desert. She said she knew how that part would end. She also requested you come to visit her in the lab after the storm... her words. With your permission my sovereign I will take my leave of you to finish a training regimen."

T'Challa : "By all means of course. Wakanda Forever."

Okoye : "Wakanda Forever."

T'Challa, Nakia and Ororo proceed through the maze of corridors that line the palace. T'Challa's armor nano techs into a formal tunic, pants and sandles.

Nakia : "I never tire of seeing that. Those outside Wakanda postulate that it is done using the unstable molecules that Dr Richards discovered before the accident. Some even suggest that Dr. Richards' intellect rivals your own my king."

T'Challa : "Rivals?"

Nakia : "Still others have even gone so far as to suggest that with the increase of mutations and meta humans in the west you may even rank at number eight with regards to who is the world's smartest genius."

T'Challa : "Eighth?" 

T'Challa smiles.

T'Challa : "Is it your intent to invoke my ire."

Nakia : "If you want to impress upon me your ferocity and indignation you should pull me close, press your body against mine. Speak your words slow and methodical. Make me feel your authority, passionately threatening.  Make it intimate. Who is to say what my response would be."

T'Challa : "Now that you have my attention..."

Nakia smiles.

Nakia : "I shall take my leave now, my sovereign. With your permission of course."

T'Challa : "Of course. Wakanda Forever."

Nakia : "Wakanda Forever."

Nakia salutes T'Challa and winks at Ororo.  As Nakia walks away her footfalls are not heard and just mere yards away she melts into the shadows.

Ororo : "You are so going to have problems with that one."

T'Challa and Ororo exit the palace and enter the grand expanse of the Cascading Promenade and visit its many shops.

Ororo : "It so amazing, no money, no credit or debits. You just take what you want."

T'Challa : "More accurately one is given what one needs."

For the next hour they walk , then the silence is broken when Ororo whispers "I don't think I'll ever want to live anywhere else." T'Challa smiles. They run up the spiraling staircase of the Amber Pagoda."   

T'Challa : "Are you tired?"

Ororo : "No, but then I didn't just fight an Atlantean warrior king."

T'Challa : "Atlantean 'roid rage in a Speedo. Let us walk."

Ororo : "No more flying?"

T'Challa : "No more flying. I like to walk. And I like the way you walk. And Birnin Zana is the city to walk in."

Ororo : "It's a beautiful city. The most beautiful city I've ever seen."

T'Challa : "It will take more than a week to see it all. Can you not stay longer?"

Ororo : "No, I have to go to school. I've been accepted at the Xavier institute."

T'Challa : "Accepted? The Xavier institute?"

Ororo : "Didn't you study abroad?"

T'Challa : "I wouldn't call what I did study in the traditional sense. I traveled the world and beyond to perfect techniques and stratagems to determine ways and measures to defeat any and all threats to the realm. The best knowledge based education is to be had here in Wakanda."

They stop along the bridge crossing Tranquility lake.

Ororo : "What's that?"

T'Challa : "The Birnin Zana Royal Conservatory."

Ororo : "You didn't even look.

T'Challa : "I didn't order it moved."

Ororo : "I guess you showed it to lots of women on this bridge."

T'Challa : "One or two."

Ororo : "Nakia and Monica I would wager."

T'Challa : "You'ld loose. Monica has yet to visit Wakanda. Ororo, I've read his work. Charles Xavier's views are extreme. He borders on being a mutant supremacist."

Ororo : "You have him confused with Dr Erik Lehnsherr."

T'Challa : "His theories on meta-humans born with abilities are all based in the ascendancy of genetic mutations. He will diagnose you as such in an attempt to get you to believe you are more than Afrakan while in reality he has lessened you as whole being... and equally important, as belonging to the Djalia."

Ororo : "Didn't you promise me some vegan Wat and Melktert? I hear Wakanda has the worlds best plant based cuisine."

T'Challa : "It won't fly away."

Ororo : "No, but I might."

T'Challa : "You might? Fly away from the garden spot of the Wakandan Interstellar Community."

Ororo : "I don't want to debate on an empty stomach."

T'Challa inhales deeply.

T'Challa : "I think I better get you that Wat and Melktert."

Ororo smiles.

Ororo : "I think you better.





Not only do I really like the additions to the already powerful, image evoking, attention grabbing original dialogue that you wrote, Brother Ture, I reeeaaalllly like that your BP710 has gone viral! That's OUT. STANDING!! Your story is the most read BP fanfic that I know of, as I don't know of ANY BP fanfic that has hit even HALF a million. Including my own. I really like the extra insight into the various characters you include in this Chapter. Shuri's voice. Storm's voice. Rings true. Even the spin you have on Nakia's character rings true and believable. I'm reading about people who I somehow know, yet at the same time I'm reading about people who I wish I knew and/or wish I was like.

Keep! Up! The! RECORD BREAKING! Fanfic GOAT! Work!

I am both humbled and flattered by your praise Brother Supreme. Much of the dialogue between T'Challa and Ororo was taken from a scene in Paris Blues, an old film from the '50s with Sydney Portier and Dianne Carrol. I knew a friend of mine would get a kick out of it as we both love the movie. My Nakia leans more towards Priest's bad girl Nakia. I loved the tension Priest put between them. His Seduction of the Innocent story line is still one of my all time favorites. The one million views milestone is over a six year period for this thread. Though I have seen a significant increase in activity since the launch of the Protocols. Still I am very pleased to reached such a point. As always much respect to you for all your contributions, artistict talent and cultural intelligence, all of which are greatly appreciated.
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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4580 on: June 18, 2019, 01:06:10 am »
Good stuff Ture, congrats and the 1 mil views. Definitely a good read. I would love to see this illustrated. It deserves it.

Thank you Brother Ezyo, thank you. I too would love to see this illustrated.
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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4581 on: June 23, 2019, 09:18:39 pm »


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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4582 on: June 23, 2019, 09:19:11 pm »
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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4583 on: June 23, 2019, 09:28:42 pm »




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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4584 on: June 23, 2019, 09:36:05 pm »


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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4585 on: June 23, 2019, 09:37:54 pm »
Hatut Zeraze

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - CHAPTER 4 STORM WATCH
« Reply #4586 on: June 24, 2019, 11:50:36 am »
BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - Interlude - Fireflies

Dawn. He stands at the base of the mountain and inhales deeply. He looks up seeking to view the summit only to witness a halo of clouds. He exhales slowly and braces himself as he takes in the enormity of the task before him. Once more he gazes towards the mountaintop, almost seeking assurance. There is none. He starts the climb. No ropes, no anchors, he climbs. No high tech safety net to catch him if he falls. He ascends, knowing he will have no respite. He has to reach his destination by dusk, for it is then that the fireflies come out. The hours pass unmercifully slow. He climbs.

He could have flown to the summit. He could have chosen any Wakandan air craft but he is a king and while he may have nothing to prove to his people, he still has something left to prove to himself. He climbs. The mountain's name is Ur Kilima and it rests in the heart of the Wakandan tropical rain forest. While less than one fifth the size of the Congo's lush jungle it is the lung of Wakanda. Legend states that Ur Kilima grew taller than any other mountain so that it may receive the gift. The foliage is hyper verdant radiating a cacophony of colors, bathing the forest floor in an eerie luminescent glow. He climbs.

Even with his augmented strength the ascent is still arduous. With every armbar, every heelhook and backstep he thinks of her. She has always been there and he has always loved her. In fact she may have been his first love considering they met as children. It was her eyes and her hair that made that first impression. The former so exotic, so intoxicating, the latter flowing as if it had a life all its own. Sure there have been other women, he is royalty. Flirtations, dalliances and palace intrigues are par for the course. She however is consistent, consummate and indelibly etched on the canvas that is his heart. He contemplates never saying the words I love you. He climbs.

The forest decides to demonstrate its control over its environ. The lungs of Wakanda exhale and the clouds descend blanketing the forest, causing a steep rise in humidity and temperature. A storm is brewing. The gale force winds push at Ur Kilima as the thunder yells at her. Lightening prick her surface repeatedly. It is all he can do to just hang on after enduring two direct lightening strikes. Then comes the rain. So heavy is the downpour that the rivers spill over the plateau causing giant cascades of falling water. Time to move. Narrowly evading a massive waterfall, he climbs.

Hand and foot holds made all the more precarious by the rain water cause him to slip. Free fall. Before he can act a large form snatches him out of the air. It is a massive female rock python. It looks prehistoric as he estimates its length to be more than ten meters. Its weight close to two hundred kilos. He readies himself for battle then double takes. The python almost appears to be smiling, not one of ill intent but a welcoming smile. She turns and slithers off westward. He follows the python towards the setting sun. He realizes he has reached the summit and there before him, silhouetted, she stands. 

He has traveled this path several times over the past few months trying to prepare for this moment. Tears pooling in his eyes. He tries to speak but he is afraid. A reassuring hand touches his shoulder and he whispers "I love you." The hand gently nudges him forward and he speaks the words again this time louder. "I love you." Coruscating fireflies illuminate her countenance. "You never had the opportunity to hear me tell you." Tear flow unceasingly from both their eyes. "You never heard me propose to you." He holds her hand. "This day you will hear all my emotions... all my feelings." They embrace and the fireflies dance displaying a band of colors, like those seen in a rainbow. While holding his beloved he slowly turns and mouths the words "Thank you." In reply the Black Panther nods to Black bolt.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2019, 12:01:19 pm by Ture »
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Offline Battle

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4587 on: June 24, 2019, 02:52:36 pm »
>>>Ture

re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - Interlude - Fireflies




Is this some sort of ritual?   

To climb a dangerously high mountain, and in this scenario,  T'Challa nearly falling to his death only to be saved by an ancient giant snake, to meet with his beloved...?

...and Black Bolt?  :-\

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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4588 on: June 24, 2019, 04:26:50 pm »
I like this form of storytelling, seems like 70s or 80s comic narration.

Im guessing the snake is a reference to the Panthers Quest cartoon.

Is he climbing to get more heartshaped herb for the ceremony?
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Re: BP710:THE PROTOCOLS - INTERLUDE - Fireflies
« Reply #4589 on: June 24, 2019, 05:30:02 pm »
I dunno...

Reads as if MacGregor wrote this.   I really wasn't into MacGregor's 'Black Panther' Harlequin romance style of storytelling.  :-\