Author Topic: Meet the male escort who gives the Duke porn star a run for her money  (Read 1395 times)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Meet the male escort who gives the Duke porn star a run for her money
Posted by: Roarer Lion

Editor's note: Occasionally, we get submissions. Some of them are requests to go to an event, review a play, or promote a new student group on campus. This time, we got nothing less than the equivalent of a few pages from the memoirs of the Duke porn star albeit male and Columbian. We verified the author's background, and though he wishes to remain anonymous, he is in fact a male escort who attends class at Columbia like any of us. If you would like to submit your own unique college experiences, send us a tip. Until then, without any further ado, we present you his story.

On more than a few occasions, I've been paid about $800 to sit in a room and pop balloons while a woman masturbates.

It's not the strangest request I've ever gotten, but it's probably the easiest as far as regular clients go, if you ignore the jarring anxiety and probably permanent ear damage that comes with popping balloons for two hours.

I have plenty of escort friends who will proudly announce their line of work to anyone who listens, my girlfriend included, but I'm always a little paranoid of it getting back to my parents. They would probably be distraught to learn that the checks I send home are the products of dating women looking for affection and not the kind of hard work they sent me to school for.

I come from the kind of lower-middle-class, traditionally Catholic family that has ten million kids. As well as it pays, I'm not exactly looking for my baby siblings to dream of growing up and making it big as an escort.

But f*ck it, if I can get paid $15,000 to spend a December week lounging on a beach in Tuscany instead of freezing my ass off in New York, I'm going to do it, while I'm still young enough to be hired for that sort of gig.

Of course, most of my dates are less glamorous. The most common is four hours for dinner and sex, which for me runs about $1200, plus the cost of dinner and a hotel room.

The women that I usually get matched to are the kind who want to have sex but get really demure about it and ask to leave the lights off. The trick is to talk them into leaving the lights on and then spend the whole time telling them how great they look, even if it isn't true. That's how you get big tips and regulars.

There's plenty of different types of women willing and capable of shelling upwards of $1000 for male company, but considering I'm a Boyfriend Experience escort literally marketed to create the illusion of a romantic relationship, most of my clientele comprises neglected wives, divorced mothers, and shy women who have a hard time connecting, even though there are definitely exceptions.

A lot of my friends, on the other hand, are Pornstar Experience escorts, so they get a whole variety of women that usually have secret fetishes and expect crazy sex marathons. I tried that for a while, but the BFE money is better, and there's only so many times you can let a woman have at you with a strapon before it starts feeling a little too gay4pay. (My limit is once.)

My boss has her own divisions: within BFE escorts, the most common are the Dreamy Bad Boys and the Prince Charmings. There's also random giant lumberjack dudes and skinny nerds and everything in between, but mostly it's the bad boys and princes.

I'm a Prince Charming; she tells me it's because I remind middle-aged women of that popular guy they liked in high school, even though I rarely play sports and was definitely not That Guy in high school. But I guess it fits, one of my first dates was taking a girl who'd been dumped earlier that day to her senior prom when I was 19.

The weirdest clients are probably the ones who start getting their family and friends involved. My profile says the best dates are usually the ones where we go to a concert or a show, so one woman had me accompany her while she took her daughters to a Justin Bieber concert.

I think part of it was that she probably wanted that high school experience of f*cking in the bathroom during a concert, but somehow it's a little different when "Baby" is what's playing over the speakers and you're at Barclay's, not the Bowery.

Two weeks ago, a woman paid me to go to a dinner with her and pretend to be her shiny new boyfriend so she would feel less ashamed meeting with her ex-husband and his new girlfriend, and we spent an hour before the dinner coming up with our false relationship history. It's not really a common request, but she was paying and I'm not picky.

When her husband finally arrived, I recognized one of my escort friends on his arm. I wish I could replicate her smirk. My partner and I tacitly agreed not to inform our clients. If we're lucky, it'll become a regular thing.

Obviously, there's a lot of US legality issues with escorting, though it's usually advertised solely as a companionship service, and there are some escorts who don't offer sex in order to protect themselves legally, but if you get signed to a good agency your ass should mostly be covered. Alternately, move to Nevada or somewhere in Europe.

There's inevitably some major discrepancies, at least to me, between female and male escorting, but that's because guys are apparently more likely to be skeevy as f*ck. Who knew.

It only doesn't bother me that my girlfriend is an escort because she's good at choosing what kinds of guys she's okay with going on a date with and figuring out who's probably a psychopath. Sometimes it's pretty obvious. There was a guy who asked her if she was open to a "new and experimental sexual experience," then kept going on about how clean and purebred his dogs are.

But otherwise, hey. The work is really inconsistent, but $15,000 to sunbathe in Tuscany, right?