Author Topic: 20 Things You Don't Owe Anyone  (Read 2058 times)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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20 Things You Don't Owe Anyone
« on: June 15, 2015, 07:35:40 pm »
20 Things You Donít Owe Anyone

ďNever explain Ė your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.Ē Ė Elbert Hubbard

How many things in your day do you do because you feel you should? Well honestly, the word ďshouldĒ should be eliminated from our vocabulary. The things we ďshouldĒ do take us away from the things that matter, the things we must do to live our best and happiest life.

When we stop doing things because we feel we should and start defining the boundaries around what will add value to our lives, we can get on with the business of living our life.

The biggest thing we need to stop doing is explaining our decisions to others in hopes of their support. We should be confident enough in our decisions that someone elseís opinion doesnít matter.

We all judge even when we try our hardest not to. We watch people, form opinions and make assumptions based entirely on their observations. So itís no surprise that we assume other people are judging us. Knowing judgment is happening all around us, we feel the need to constantly explain ourselves to make sure people see us as we want to be seen.

How many times have you pretended to feel fine and tried to convince someone of this fact even though it is clear you donít feel fine at all? Weíve all done it. Instead of faking fine try just being real without the need to apologize or explain. Give yourself the freedom to Ö Just. Be. Human. Everyone has imperfections, why bother to hide it?
Explaining takes your power and gives it to the other person. The best decisions come when we listen to how we feel and our gut instinct. But those sources arenít usually well received in an explanation, so we make up an explanation the other person can relate to.

Unfortunately, there are many of us that feel the need to explain even though we know we shouldnít. An explainer is waiting for someone elseís approval, and there is a lot of wasted energy in the waiting. Itís this waiting period that doubt creeps in; depression begins to expand, and unhappiness takes root. Waiting is wasted time.

When we explain, we move away from our greatest source of wisdom Ė our inner guide. We stop honoring ourselves and start placing more importance on the other person.
Itís hard to overcome the tendency to explain, but it can be done with focus and intention. Awareness is the key. To help you become more aware, here are 20 things you donít owe anyone an explanation for.

You donít owe anyone a justification for your values and your priorities.

You donít owe anyone a yes when you want to say no.

You donít owe anyone an explanation for your relationships, whether lovers or friends.

You donít owe anyone assistance with their happiness journey at the cost of your own.

You donít owe anyone a debate around your political views especially when the other personís mind is made up.

You donít owe anyone an apology when you are not sorry, and you would make the same decision again.

You donít owe anyone a rationalization about why investing in yourself is important.

You donít owe anyone the meaning of what you believe in.

You donít owe anyone a change in your appearance just to please them.

You donít owe anyone friendship, especially when they do not share your values.

You donít owe anyone a negative mindset so that you can commiserate with them.

You donít owe anyone access to information about your life that makes you uncomfortable.

You donít owe anyone gossip material about other people just to fit in.

You donít owe anyone your time for their projects or for things that matter to them unless they matter to you too.

You donít owe anyone the commitment to try something ďnewĒ just because you were asked.

You donít owe anyone a safe place for constant complaining and dwelling in their poor choices.

You donít owe anyone an answer other than the truth to prevent them from being uncomfortable.

You donít owe anyone your services as a crisis counselor unless you are actually a crisis counselor.

You donít owe anyone false compliments just to make them feel better.

You donít owe anyone anything that doesnít make you feel good and goes against your gut instinct.

Just remember this:

ďWhat other people think of me is none of my business.Ē Ė Wayne Dyer

and then remember this:

ďYou alone are enough. You have nothing to prove.Ē Ė Maya Angelou

The next time you are tempted to justify something, just remember that you canít control what other people think. You can only control what you think and how you feel. If you are confident with your decisions then an explanation isnít really necessary, is it?