Author Topic: Can Casual Sex be a Spiritual Experience?  (Read 607 times)

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Can Casual Sex be a Spiritual Experience?
« on: June 21, 2018, 12:58:14 pm »
Uh, say what?

Is casual sex a way to find ourselves? Are healthy hookups possible? Let’s explore the multifaceted role of sexuality outside a committed relationship.
I’m a serial monogamist. What I mean by that is I tend to always be in a relationship. I never try to find one, it’s just that they seem to fall in my lap without me having to do a thing. I’m not into dating and never have been. Most of my boyfriends started out as friends, or I met them through acquaintances or work and we hit it off. As a result, I rarely had casual sex, and if I did, it was a “friends with fringe benefits” kind of thing.

I’m also a very spiritual person and I never felt that hooking up with a virtual stranger could be in line with my idea of conscious dating. I thought the new norm of sex outside of a relationship was a little sad and lonely-feeling. There couldn’t be any intimacy or spiritual growth in the act of banging some random in the back seat of a car, could there?

When I found myself single in my 40s, I realized the dating landscape had changed significantly. Everyone was finding partners online. My sister met her husband through a dating site. My happily single friends were blissfully unclenching old “hookups are for hos” ideals and waking up sticky and satisfied next to men or women they’d barely just met.

My first reaction to all of this was to decide the dating world was slowly turning into a bad porn film, but after giving in to my curious nature and trying it out for myself, I changed my mind about casual sex.

I discovered hooking up can be a liberating and healing experience if you do it right.

Even though sex outside a relationship has become normative behavior—especially with Millennials—there is still a pervasive viewpoint that people who sleep around are insecure, have low self-esteem, or who have no ethics. Men who have sex with a lot of women are chauvinist jerks, and women who do the same are just trying to trap a partner.

There is also a ton of pressure on young people from older generations to find a partner, settle down, and start popping out babies as soon as possible. Monogamy and marriage are the ideal standard, and anything else is frowned upon.

It seems silly, though, considering the high divorce rates and unhappy relationships out there, to keep pushing this idea. Maybe going a little wild before settling down is actually a smarter choice.

Casual sex can help us figure out what turns us on, how to share mutual pleasure, and how to be more comfortable with our sexuality.

It can also help us release any guilt we’ve been carrying because of religious or societal beliefs—this is especially true for women and the LGBTQ community. When we hear the message that our sexuality is sinful or unnatural, we can feel that our choice to experience pleasure from it is shameful.

Sex-negative conditioning is a big deal because it encourages the idea that we should deny a part of ourselves that needs nurturing. When we choose to receive pleasure for no other reason than pleasure’s sake, we can reclaim the pieces that we’ve been told don’t deserve love.

If you think about it, sex is the purest form of creative energy. Everything biological, from plants to animals, makes new things with it. Human beings have the added benefits of using it to create joy, healing, and spiritual and emotional connections. Even the basest of encounters can give us an opportunity to evolve.

If we want to have meaningful, fulfilling sex, it’s important to lose the ego. When we use it to satisfy an emotional need to conquer or control—because we are under pressure, or to fill a void—we can get into trouble and create an addiction. It can cause as many issues as sexual repression does if we aren’t careful.

If you want casual sex—or any sex for that matter—to enhance your spiritual growth, it’s important to bring playfulness into the experience. One of the best things about hooking up is how easy it is to do that. You aren’t bringing any conflicts or manipulative tactics into the picture.

You can have fun without an agenda.

Playing the field helped me see myself a little more clearly. I realized that as I aged, I made the choice to play it safe more than I used to. I relied on outside approval and societal norms to shape who I had become. I passed judgment on myself in ways that were surprising to me when I saw them.

Once I recognized these things, I took the steps to change them. I became less inhibited. I also realized that, while hooking up can be a fun and meaningful experience, I prefer sex within a monogamous relationship. I can honor the introvert in me that prefers fewer, more intense relationships without being concerned that I’m trying to stay within the confines of societies idea of what’s acceptable.

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Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Re: Can Casual Sex be a Spiritual Experience?
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2018, 11:33:15 pm »
I guess it depends how you define "spiritual" but a powerful emotional and physical experience can put you in a "thank you God" mind state.

Offline Battle

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Re: Can Casual Sex be a Spiritual Experience?
« Reply #2 on: Today at 04:58:18 am »
Thursday, 21st February 2019
LDS Bishop Arrested In Human Trafficking Sting

by Nicole Rojas

A bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) was removed from his post after he was arrested during a human trafficking sting in Lehi, Utah.

David N. Moss, 51, is accused of contacting online women he believed to be prostitutes and claiming he could manage them.

Moss, a former police vice squad lieutenant, was arrested on Tuesday for exploiting a prostitute, patronizing a prostitute, two counts of lewdness and sexual battery.

The Utah County Sheriff’s Office said that Moss contacted two undercover detectives he believed to be prostitutes on February 14.

Moss, under the name “Pilot,” contacted one woman and arranged to pay $150 for “services such as kissing, touching and pleasure that Moss was looking for,” a police affidavit cited by Deseret News said.

Moss also told the undercover detectives that he could “manage” them but not as a “pimp.”

The suspect reportedly claimed he could protect them, help them avoid police and said he would take care of booking.

Moss alleged he had “run” other women in the past. The two undercover detectives and Moss arranged a meeting, where they discussed avoiding police.

Moss reportedly grabbed the hand of one of the detectives and “forcibly put it on his genitals over his pants,” the Utah County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.

He also unzipped his pants and exposed his genitals to the two detectives.

“The female (undercover) detectives immediately became concerned and retreated to the bathroom,” the police affidavit said.
“One of the decoys stated she locked the door, which is something she had never done in previous undercover operations.”

When he left the meeting location, Moss was stopped by deputies from the Utah County Sheriff’s Special Victims Task Force.

Officers found a handgun in Moss’s pocket.

“The behavior alleged in this incident is completely unacceptable and unbecoming of any member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and especially of someone serving in a position of local leadership,” spokesman Eric Hawkins said in a statement to the Deseret News.

“Upon learning of this situation, local leaders took immediate steps to relieve him of his role and to identify his replacement.”

West Valley City also confirmed on Wednesday that Moss resigned from his position as deputy director of the Community Preservation Department.

Jail records show Moss was released on Wednesday.

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