JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS

[Reginald Hudlin]

from his formspring account http://formspring.me/jimiiizrael:

What do you think of the media's current focus on black women not being married?

I think it has reached a fever-pitch. I think the approach to the story/problem, to this point, has been counter-intuitive.

To wit:

If black men were as messed up as conventional wisdom (Essence Magazine) would have you believe, then they would not be attractive to any prospective partner. Yet, they manage to do ok in the marriage/dating pool. This idea that black women are loyal to the race and therefore only want to marry black men is ridiculous. It doesn't pass the smell test. There are ALOT of sisters w/white boys. So Obviously, they are a viable alternative. But even some white boys don't want to be bothered. Everyone, in fact, seems to fair better than black women in relationships --- why is this? I don't know, and I don't pretend to know.

The stats are interesting, but they don't tell us some important things. Like, this 42% of black women who won't/don't get married -- are they heterosexual? Do they even WANT to be married? And once you count out the women who don't like men, who are under-educated, who have multitple babies by multiple (3 or more) men, are the rest even marriageble? If these practical matters be the criteria, that is. This does not account for all the angry post-feminism black "feminists," who are only marginally eligible, if that. Gender, in and of itself, does not make you wife material. Once you weed through the numbers, you realize that the ratio of marriage black men to marriage black women? ABOUT EVEN.

I think there is something happening in the socialization of some, SOME black women that hobbles their marriageablity -- and I talk about that a bit in my book "The Denzel Principle." I don't have any answers, but I try to give you alot to think about.

[Lion]

Someone get that guy a kevlar vest.

[jefferson L.O.B. sergeant]

This would've been the perfect topic for BET news to explore in a series culminating with a town hall.

As for the vest, Izrael is not alone as I hear about more and more postings on Youtube addressing the subject.

[Reginald Hudlin]

Certainly in the online community there's a lot of hooting about the ABC story and the story that ran on Russian TV (?) about this.  I couldn't bring myself to watch either...but did they talk to any happily married couples?  Or married or single Black men?   

I know when I was single and lonely, I didn't blame women.

[BmoreAkuma]

hmmm I give the gent credit with his honesty with the topic. One can't discuss something like this without someone getting salty and wanting to defend themselves. But is it really a "crisis"? Why should one even care?

[jefferson L.O.B. sergeant]

hmmm I give the gent credit with his honesty with the topic. One can't discuss something like this without someone getting salty and wanting to defend themselves. But is it really a "crisis"? Why should one even care?

It is a crisis if you factor in the issues that seem to cause the present state of affairs.

1. Feminism- A paradigm designed to empower White middle class women has been adopted into an anti-Black male movement by an entire generation of Black women.

2. Racism- Discrimination in terms of hiring Black males has led to a widening gap in terms of employment. The economic realities that culminate from this has only empowered the " Black men ain't!@#$" mantra that is being embraced today.

3. Stability- Every study that I've seen shows that health, wealth and prosperity are always greater within marriage. It truly is the cornerstone of any society.

[jefferson L.O.B. sergeant]

 I couldn't bring myself to watch either...but did they talk to any happily married couples?  Or married or single Black men?   

Reggie, watch the ABC interview.

The interview with the Attorney/NFL Cheerleader should spark a future project for you.

That's the woman that has the Youtube critics going wild.

[Reginald Hudlin]

No doubt that marriage is crucial.  It's hard enough mantaining a stable relationship in this society, if folks aren't even trying we're not going to make it as a people.

And everyone has to own this one.  It's not about one side being right.  Just like in a real marriage.

Do you have a link for the ABC interview?

[BmoreAkuma]

hmmm I give the gent credit with his honesty with the topic. One can't discuss something like this without someone getting salty and wanting to defend themselves. But is it really a "crisis"? Why should one even care?

It is a crisis if you factor in the issues that seem to cause the present state of affairs.

1. Feminism- A paradigm designed to empower White middle class women has been adopted into an anti-Black male movement by an entire generation of Black women.

2. Racism- Discrimination in terms of hiring Black males has led to a widening gap in terms of employment. The economic realities that culminate from this has only empowered the " Black men ain't!@#$" mantra that is being embraced today.

3. Stability- Every study that I've seen shows that health, wealth and prosperity are always greater within marriage. It truly is the cornerstone of any society.

1. Well these are the same ones that are in their 50s being sad and lonely and bitter. So let them continue to be like that. Women like that are a turnoff period regardless of their race.

2. Bullsh*t, it is up to that man of color to make things right. "blaming it on the man" doesn't fly any longer. If that black man don't want to make the proper moves to get ahead in life then it is his fault. If that man wasn't hired at one company, move on to the next one until you got your gig. That is maintaining a career 101.

3. I am one of the people that disagree that marriage is needed. I don't like the notion that when a man is 30 that he should be married and have kids. Why? what rule says I'm supposed to be married? Because of the "numbers" that says you get more sex being married? or you get more money back in taxes? or you have a better chance in buying a home?

[jefferson L.O.B. sergeant]

2. Bullsh*t, it is up to that man of color to make things right. "blaming it on the man" doesn't fly any longer. If that black man don't want to make the proper moves to get ahead in life then it is his fault. If that man wasn't hired at one company, move on to the next one until you got your gig. That is maintaining a career 101.

Actually, its not bull but a deadly serious reality.

Whether you characterize it as "The Man", Institutional racism, or White Supremacy, its negative impact on Black males is real.

President Obama is often used as the standard to dismiss this reality and even cite a post-racial era in America. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It's one of the reasons that I get particularly angered and disgusted at President Obama's " No Excuses" speech.

Instead of focusing on the realities of discrimination and institutional racism, he chose to reinforce convenient stereotypes to chastise Black youth for political capital.

Lets look at what was rolled out in the speech as the usuaal suspects for failure among Black males.

1. The Black community doesn't prize education

This is true. However, this only puts Blacks on equal footing with almost everyone else in this country on the subject of education. America is and always will be anti-intellectual. You see it from the founding of this nation to the  present day.


There are 2 questions that arise if you accept this reality.

Why is a hallmark of American society only pathologized when it comes to Black males?


Why are males in other communities able to overcome this sentiment while a significant number of Black males are not?

2. Our kids want to be Ballers and Rappers.

This is correct. Black males want to be Ballers and Rappers right along with their White, Asian and Latino contemporaries. You can't reach the pop-culture status of a Lil Wayne and Lebron James ( Both of whom were cited) without having a broad based appeal.


Whites purchase 80% of Rap and purchase the vast majority of sports related merchandise.


Given these facts, I would simply ask this.

1. Why is the White community able to consume vast amounts of Rap and Sports merchandise while simultaneously maintaining achievement levels in school?

All of these issues play a part because they have become the narrative by which some Black women are condemning Black men.

[Princesa]

Please Jen come in here and destroy this bullsh*t

[jefferson L.O.B. sergeant]

No doubt that marriage is crucial.  It's hard enough mantaining a stable relationship in this society, if folks aren't even trying we're not going to make it as a people.

And everyone has to own this one.  It's not about one side being right.  Just like in a real marriage.

Do you have a link for the ABC interview?

Here is the link

[jefferson L.O.B. sergeant]

Please Jen come in here and destroy this bullsh*t

Not even Jenn can deny this truth!

[Hypestyle]

...at the risk of inviting untold scorn, why is it that some folks (men & women) think that the world 'owes' them a spouse because someone else has one?   

[jefferson L.O.B. sergeant]

...at the risk of inviting untold scorn, why is it that some folks (men & women) think that the world 'owes' them a spouse because someone else has one?   

To your point and the original post, why do some Black women feel they must have a rich Black spouse because some White women have been able to find one?