Author Topic: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS  (Read 17115 times)

Offline Princesa

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2010, 06:55:55 pm »
Please Jenn come in here and wreck this foolishness ::)


And please black people stop making every pop culture bubble a "crisis/event" like it's Moses coming down from the mountain top. Precious. Good Hair. Frog Princess. This stupid book. And please stop painting black women as pathetic. Everybody doesn't want to be married or even want a 'man' period. All this is is more male peacock preening arrogance and a few dumb desperate ass women on tv.

Offline jefferson L.O.B. sergeant

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #16 on: February 20, 2010, 07:31:05 pm »
Take these facts into consideration.

The rate of abortion in the Black community is at am unspeakable level.

The relationship between marriage and prosperity has already been mentioned. Couple that with disparities in education and health we are talking about a crisis situation.

Between all of these factors, what is the Black community of the future going to look like?

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #17 on: February 20, 2010, 09:15:37 pm »
No doubt that marriage is crucial.  It's hard enough mantaining a stable relationship in this society, if folks aren't even trying we're not going to make it as a people.

And everyone has to own this one.  It's not about one side being right.  Just like in a real marriage.

Do you have a link for the ABC interview?


Here is the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCoI-B9AYjs


Okay, made it through. Such bad reporting.  Only one black male interviewed, Steve Harvey, and they only spoke to him because he's a celebrity who wrote a book on the subject. 

It's a sloppy mix of stats without detail, and ancedotal evidence.   It's presented in a way to suggest that there are millions of professional black women that drive a Benz and are professional cheerleaders on the side, but they can't find a man because of all the uneducated black men in jail, gay or can't earn a wage equal to a black woman.

Of course, it could have also been spun as "why can't Precious find a husband?" and focus on black women with weight problems and too many kids out of wedlock and used that to justify why black men date outside their race, like they did in this piece.

The only stat that was important to me was that there are more black women than black men, period.  Talking about who was "marriage material" is a very subjective call.  I know a bunch of amazing, beautiful, smart and successful single black women.  The one who always has a man isn't as model-pretty as the rest, but is clearly doing something different. 

I also know black women who get pregnant but turn down marriage offers because they don't like the man enough.  They raise their kid on their own, with a little bit of financial support from the men, help from their friends and a lot of game.

My point is, the true reasons why someone is or is not married is always very personal.  You can't make sweeping reasons why, and to just blame black men is just stupid.  I see how young black boys are treated at my very expensive school and how most don't make it.  If their behavior is always considered "troubling" unless they are perfect angels, it's no surprise they don't graduate and don't go on to high earning jobs. 

Unless you understand the problem, and what's causing it, you can't solve it. 

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #18 on: February 20, 2010, 09:19:32 pm »


3. I am one of the people that disagree that marriage is needed. I don't like the notion that when a man is 30 that he should be married and have kids. Why? what rule says I'm supposed to be married? Because of the "numbers" that says you get more sex being married? or you get more money back in taxes? or you have a better chance in buying a home?
Hey, I never EVAH said anything like that.  Get married ONLY when you feel it's the most important thing you can imagine doing.  And you'll only feel that way when you're at that "point" in your life when you are ready to build a foundation, and you meet a woman that makes you a better man.  That may come at any age, or never come.  Don't do it until it's time.

But a strong family (which means marriage) is the foundation of society.

Offline BmoreAkuma

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #19 on: February 20, 2010, 10:18:04 pm »
If more people of color stop making excuses and coming up with bogus stats of another crisis then we would be fine in the future
Hey, I never EVAH said anything like that.  Get married ONLY when you feel it's the most important thing you can imagine doing.  And you'll only feel that way when you're at that "point" in your life when you are ready to build a foundation, and you meet a woman that makes you a better man.  That may come at any age, or never come.  Don't do it until it's time.

But a strong family (which means marriage) is the foundation of society.
It wasn't geared towards you of what you brought up earlier in the thread. It was geared towards Mr sergeant.  However, I do see where you are coming and that is fine.

With these choices, I felt that the American black man only needed to choose which one to get eaten by; the liberal fox or the conservative wolf because both of them will eat him.

Offline Hypestyle

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2010, 02:52:29 pm »
To your point and the original post, why do some Black women feel they must have a rich Black spouse because some White women have been able to find one?

Okay, made it through. Such bad reporting.  Only one black male interviewed, Steve Harvey, and they only spoke to him because he's a celebrity who wrote a book on the subject.  

It's a sloppy mix of stats without detail, and ancedotal evidence.   It's presented in a way to suggest that there are millions of professional black women that drive a Benz and are professional cheerleaders on the side, but they can't find a man because of all the uneducated black men in jail, gay or can't earn a wage equal to a black woman.

Of course, it could have also been spun as "why can't Precious find a husband?" and focus on black women with weight problems and too many kids out of wedlock and used that to justify why black men date outside their race, like they did in this piece.

The only stat that was important to me was that there are more black women than black men, period.  Talking about who was "marriage material" is a very subjective call.  I know a bunch of amazing, beautiful, smart and successful single black women.  The one who always has a man isn't as model-pretty as the rest, but is clearly doing something different.  

I also know black women who get pregnant but turn down marriage offers because they don't like the man enough.  They raise their kid on their own, with a little bit of financial support from the men, help from their friends and a lot of game.

My point is, the true reasons why someone is or is not married is always very personal.  You can't make sweeping reasons why, and to just blame black men is just stupid.  I see how young black boys are treated at my very expensive school and how most don't make it.  If their behavior is always considered "troubling" unless they are perfect angels, it's no surprise they don't graduate and don't go on to high earning jobs.  

Unless you understand the problem, and what's causing it, you can't solve it.  

wise words.. the issues of high black incarceration, school dropouts, and unemployment/underemployment are highly important issues to address in their own right, outside the context of what they mean to the 'marriage eligibility pool'-- the unmarried alarmists' premise of "if it wasn't for you clowns in jail/on parole, working dead-end jobs and being g*y, I could be a soccer mom by now" comes across as whiny & selfish-- but perhaps its simply 'the american way'  ;)  too many folks in general (men & women) tend to look at marriage as a "finish line" in their personal lives, and not the start of another (presumably longer) marathon..
« Last Edit: February 21, 2010, 03:04:30 pm by Hypestyle »
Be Kind to Someone Today.

Offline Vic Vega

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #21 on: February 22, 2010, 06:52:57 am »
Quote from: akumatrunigga link=topic=5688.msg95307#msg95307 date[/quote


2. Bullsh*t, it is up to that man of color to make things right. "blaming it on the man" doesn't fly any longer. If that black man don't want to make the proper moves to get ahead in life then it is his fault. If that man wasn't hired at one company, move on to the next one until you got your gig. That is maintaining a career 101.

Actually, its not bull but a deadly serious reality.

Whether you characterize it as "The Man", Institutional racism, or White Supremacy, its negative impact on Black males is real.

President Obama is often used as the standard to dismiss this reality and even cite a post-racial era in America. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It's one of the reasons that I get particularly angered and disgusted at President Obama's " No Excuses" speech.

Instead of focusing on the realities of discrimination and institutional racism, he chose to reinforce convenient stereotypes to chastise Black youth for political capital.

Lets look at what was rolled out in the speech as the usuaal suspects for failure among Black males.

1. The Black community doesn't prize education

This is true. However, this only puts Blacks on equal footing with almost everyone else in this country on the subject of education. America is and always will be anti-intellectual. You see it from the founding of this nation to the  present day.

That's putting it kindly.

Barack Obama enacted the biggest Middle Class Tax Cut in history and nobody even knows he did it. Why? Nobody f*cking reads anything. If some dude on T.V. doesn't tell you something then it did not happen.  When folks fail to knows stuff that's part of the public record I can only shake my head in dismay.

I didn't read the book/watch the special.

I don't look to Jimi Izrael for insight.

I'd say that American society tends to produce folks that are ill equipped to be married. Self absorption, denial of mortality, you name it.
Chalk it up to instant gratification culture or what have you.

Throw in economic insolvency into the mix and things become even more dire. The cause of that insolvency could be institutional racism, or it could be the recession(which is actually a depression for a lot of the folks I know). Whatever the cause its effects are toxic.

Inasmuch as the basic unit of society is the two parent family, anything that threatens it should be a serious cause for concern whether anybody likes it or not.     


Offline BmoreAkuma

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #22 on: February 22, 2010, 10:45:25 am »
Quote
I'd say that American society tends to produce folks that are ill equipped to be married. Self absorption, denial of mortality, you name it.
BINGO!!!! Give this man a medal. im serious
With these choices, I felt that the American black man only needed to choose which one to get eaten by; the liberal fox or the conservative wolf because both of them will eat him.

Offline moor

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #23 on: February 22, 2010, 01:02:29 pm »
Hmm, good thing I got in before the marriage bubble pops.

Offline Magic Wand

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #24 on: February 22, 2010, 05:32:58 pm »
...at the risk of inviting untold scorn, why is it that some folks (men & women) think that the world 'owes' them a spouse because someone else has one?   ???

To your point and the original post, why do some Black women feel they must have a rich Black spouse because some White women have been able to find one?

Not rich, Jeff.
Just able to provide.
Has less to do with what white women have and more to do with what we can already provide for ourselves.
It's simple tradition.  Women want to marry "up".
It used to be for security.  Now we secure ourselves.
If I have my own home/condo, BMW, 401K, etc, why the heck would I want to marry someone financially incompatible?
From my own experience, men find this adjustment difficult as well. 
It's a sad, sad quandry.
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." --Aristotle, Greek philosopher

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Offline jefferson L.O.B. sergeant

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #25 on: February 22, 2010, 10:48:37 pm »
...at the risk of inviting untold scorn, why is it that some folks (men & women) think that the world 'owes' them a spouse because someone else has one?   ???

To your point and the original post, why do some Black women feel they must have a rich Black spouse because some White women have been able to find one?

Not rich, Jeff.
Just able to provide.
Has less to do with what white women have and more to do with what we can already provide for ourselves.
It's simple tradition.  Women want to marry "up".
It used to be for security.  Now we secure ourselves.
If I have my own home/condo, BMW, 401K, etc, why the heck would I want to marry someone financially incompatible?
From my own experience, men find this adjustment difficult as well. 
It's a sad, sad quandry.


How about lending a brother your BMW for a job search? 8)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #26 on: February 23, 2010, 12:14:08 am »
...at the risk of inviting untold scorn, why is it that some folks (men & women) think that the world 'owes' them a spouse because someone else has one?   ???

To your point and the original post, why do some Black women feel they must have a rich Black spouse because some White women have been able to find one?

Not rich, Jeff.
Just able to provide.
Has less to do with what white women have and more to do with what we can already provide for ourselves.
It's simple tradition.  Women want to marry "up".
It used to be for security.  Now we secure ourselves.
If I have my own home/condo, BMW, 401K, etc, why the heck would I want to marry someone financially incompatible?
From my own experience, men find this adjustment difficult as well. 
It's a sad, sad quandry.


I agree.  Romance without finance is a nuisance. 

That said, a man can certainly marry a woman who makes more...but everyone has to have their mind right.  There's all kinds of ways to contribute to a relationship so everyone feels there's getting a lot out of it. 

Offline BmoreAkuma

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #27 on: February 23, 2010, 06:36:43 am »

Not rich, Jeff.
Just able to provide.
Has less to do with what white women have and more to do with what we can already provide for ourselves.
It's simple tradition.  Women want to marry "up".
It used to be for security.  Now we secure ourselves.
If I have my own home/condo, BMW, 401K, etc, why the heck would I want to marry someone financially incompatible?
From my own experience, men find this adjustment difficult as well. 
It's a sad, sad quandry.

BINGO!!! Give the person a medal too.
With these choices, I felt that the American black man only needed to choose which one to get eaten by; the liberal fox or the conservative wolf because both of them will eat him.

Offline jefferson L.O.B. sergeant

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #28 on: February 23, 2010, 04:50:23 pm »

Not rich, Jeff.
Just able to provide.
Has less to do with what white women have and more to do with what we can already provide for ourselves.
It's simple tradition.  Women want to marry "up".
It used to be for security.  Now we secure ourselves.
If I have my own home/condo, BMW, 401K, etc, why the heck would I want to marry someone financially incompatible?
From my own experience, men find this adjustment difficult as well. 
It's a sad, sad quandry.

BINGO!!! Give the person a medal too.

I don't want to interrupt the medal ceremonies but a question.

With the financial collapse that has just taken place, doesn't it make it blatantly clear that basing a relationship primarily on material wealth is foolish?

I've seen enough homes right in my neighborhood with 2 European whips, competetive refurbishing i.e. mounted lions at the entrance, marble tile walkway etc. and now its all gone.


Offline Magic Wand

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Re: JIMI IZRAEL ON THE BLACK WOMEN NOT GETTING MARRIED CRISIS
« Reply #29 on: February 23, 2010, 09:00:27 pm »
I don't think it's appropriate to base a relationship PRIMARILY on material wealth.  However, it is a consideration that should not be taken lightly.  If I should lose my corporate gig, will Mr. Blue Collar have the cheddar to continue to support us?
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." --Aristotle, Greek philosopher

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