Author Topic: marriage jokes  (Read 1278 times)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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marriage jokes
« on: April 30, 2010, 02:26:06 pm »
      You have two choices in life.
    You can stay single and be miserable,
    or get married and wish you were dead.

    __________

    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another -
    'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
    'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
    __________

    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds.
    'Husband Wanted'.
    Next day she received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing.
    'You can have mine.'
    __________

    When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
    __________

    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
    __________

    A little boy asked his father,
    'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
    Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
    __________

    A young son asked,
    'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
    Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
    __________

    Then there was a woman who said,
    'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.'
    __________

    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    __________

    If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
    __________

    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
    __________

    First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
    __________

    'A Woman's Prayer.

    Dear Lord, I pray for :-

    Wisdom - to understand a man, to love and to forgive him.

    Patience - for his moods.

    Because Lord, if I pray for strength then I'll just beat him to death'
__________________
    Husband says:  When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?

    Wife says:  I clean the toilet.

    Husband says:  How does that help?

    Wife says:  I use your toothbrush