Author Topic: marriage jokes  (Read 1338 times)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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marriage jokes
« on: April 30, 2010, 02:26:06 pm »
      You have two choices in life.
    You can stay single and be miserable,
    or get married and wish you were dead.


    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another -
    'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
    'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds.
    'Husband Wanted'.
    Next day she received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same thing.
    'You can have mine.'

    When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .

    A little boy asked his father,
    'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
    Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

    A young son asked,
    'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
    Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

    Then there was a woman who said,
    'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.'

    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

    If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

    First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
    Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

    'A Woman's Prayer.

    Dear Lord, I pray for :-

    Wisdom - to understand a man, to love and to forgive him.

    Patience - for his moods.

    Because Lord, if I pray for strength then I'll just beat him to death'
    Husband says:  When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?

    Wife says:  I clean the toilet.

    Husband says:  How does that help?

    Wife says:  I use your toothbrush