3 1/2 years?!!! I was on the HEF while your mother was still changing your diapers.
Gee Battle, one would think you were trying to hurt my feelings, hahahahaha.
One thing you should have learned about me here at HEF is that I don't 'hurt anyone's feelings' ?
I offer you 'insight'.
Say, maybe you can answer this question for me 'cause I've always wanted to know:
When it comes to certain kinds of discussions dealing with race, politics and (mainly race) why do white folks say things like,
"...I don't wanna hurt your feelings but..."
Battle, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but do you
really believe you are offering
insight?
Hahahahahaha! OK, Battle, you've put a smile on my face.

As to your question regarding white people saying "I don't want to hurt your feelings but ..." -
First, I've gotta say, if I hear one more silly thing about "white people" on this Forum I think I'm gonna throw up.

But, putting that aside, *urp!* ... I would
imagine someone says "I don't want to hurt your feelings but ..." when they are afraid what they are about to say may be disturbing to the other person. If they really are concered about the other person's feelings. Or they want to communicate that they don't have bad intent. Some white folk have been so cowed by the fear of not being politically correct that they feel uncomfortable even talking about controversial issues surrounding race with someone who is black, particularly issues surrounding "problems in the black community" and so on, for fear that they will be unfairly perceived to be racist, or unfairly accused of racism, or racial insensitivity, or some such thing. But really, I dunno. You would have to explain the context of what you are talkin' about.
It is hard for me to identify with this attitude, since I find the concern regarding political correctness when talking to a "person of color" to be patronizing at best and condescending at worst. I don't see why mature adults, as individuals, can't honestly discuss
any issue, by just laying the facts, and their opinions, on the table. Race should play no role in causing "self-editing" of the discussions.
I imagine sometimes someone might also say, "I don't want to hurt your feelings but ..." in reference
not to the race of the listener, but
rather to what they perceive to be the intelligence of the person they are addressing. Even where both persons of the same race are debating an issue, one might say this to the other ... as a slam on the other person's capacity for insight. Kind of like, "I don't want to hurt your feelings but ... you're a real idiot." The "I don't want to hurt your feelings' is said in a tone of sarcasm.
I would have to know more about the context to figure out what the person was trying to tell you.
I guess it is worth noting that the phrase you cite is different than somone saying "Sorry to tell you this but ..." or "I hate to say this but ..." as those phrases are usually said by someone who really
does want to say what he is about to say, and may be saying it in exasperation or ... maybe just with a smirk.