Author Topic: Slim Thug, White Women, Gentlemen Liars....by jimi israel  (Read 1768 times)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Slim Thug, White Women, Gentlemen Liars....by jimi israel
« on: June 09, 2010, 05:54:35 pm »
Slim Thug, White Women, Gentlemen Liars and why (black) women should stop asking what (black) men think.
 Today at 4:50pm

First, a vignette:

5:45, day of.

I’m walking around the staging area of the venue with my headphones, focused. People point at me as I pass, talking and smiling, but me and K. D. Lang are having a moment. I’m tired and not properly caffeinated. Leave me alone.

A production assistant passes me and I read her lips: (Is that what you’re wearing?) I nod.

I need to check on how my Iphone is charging so I head back into the dressing room I share with actor Hill Harper to find him---brave soul---getting a shape-up from a tall, shapely glass of Cola—the same one who put pins in my hair not 20 minutes before. He’s pulled out some clothes from a garment bag and they are laid out nearby. Steve Harvey—comedian, Gentleman Liar, radio host and fellow Clevelander—is skimming through the copy of “The Denzel Principle” I’d left on the counter, my personal, annotated copy. He sees me, points a finger in the book and a broad toothy smile –the only kind he’s got—becomes apparent.

“’Pimp-AH-l’gee?!’” he says with a hard, heavy guffaw. “Oh sh*t – I fo-GOTT. You named. A chaptuh. Of YO book--‘Pimp -AH-I’gee.’” I nod. He’s falls back into his seat laughing hard, sincerely. He’s from the Midwest, so his Foghorn Leghorn accent? KINDA SUSPECT. No matter. He’s laughing still. Then, a Pregnant Pause.

“Boy, they fin’ta GET you!” Syisha(sp? but pronounced like the ABC song), the make-up diva and Coca Cola join in. I shrug. Hill chuckles.

“Naw nigga, you don’t GIT it,” Steve says. “Dis heh is At’ LAN-na.” I deadpan him, right in the f*cking eyes, because this muthf*cka clearly doesn’t know who I am. He peeps the swagger, laughing and loving it, shaking his head, raising his palm to God as he offers testimony: “OH LAWD… BOY?!.... you fin’ta get yo AZZ kicked!!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slim’s Thug’s comments were just the latest in a movement to move barbershop dialog about relationships into the mainstream. Some people like to call it “raw” or “keeping it real.” Whatever. The only thing happening is now the funk of snake oil wafts through the silver tongues of the Gentleman Liars – you know, the men who tell women what they want to hear. And having bought all the books, videos and ephemera, many women are finding themselves discouraged that the “advice” and well-meaning affirmations these Gentlemen give don’t offer any answers or solutions at all– there is no prize in the box of Cracker Jacks. Just a lot of corny one-liners, head-pats, butt-rubs and step-by-step instructions that don’t work for everybody. Or anybody, long-term. So now, women want some honesty – finally. Slim wants to be one of those guys, telling truths. Hmm. Think I’ll call his first shot at it a “swing and a miss.”

I penned my book not as a “how-to” or “self-help” strictly speaking, but more as the non-conventional memoir with explicit lessons interspersed. I wrote it for smart people willing to be thoughtful about text and be treated like adults. The Denzel Principle is not for everyone because it says a lot of things some people don’t want to hear. For certain, (listen up, Slim) there is a way to convey a message in a way not to alienate your audience – I try that with my book. But you also want your point to come across. You can use pretty language that is confusing and imprecise, or you can talk in a language everyone can easily understand. Slim chose the latter.

The wackest thing Slim said was to try to lift up white women as the New Coke, as if white women are God’s gift to black men. I’m not a big fan of black men who talk down on black women while expressing a preference for Other, as if. I understand it, but it’s problematic, because for me it misses a very strong, very basic attraction component in interracial relationships that intraracial relationships do not—you will always get along better with someone with whom you have no history. Let me say that again: intimacy can breed contempt, and you will always get along better with someone with whom you have no history, in the short-term, until substantive issues arise. (see also EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS) Maybe this why black male, white female marriages have a crazy-high divorce rate…

“What about slavery, jimi,” you say “THAT’S HISTORY!” Whatever, nigga. That’s some olde-timey Negro bullsh*t you’re on, is what. Racial purity is a fallacy. Picking your mate by colors and numbers is why you are probably single. Interestingly, according to the US Census, white male/black female marriages last longer than any other interracial pairings in America, and we could argue that pairing has the most troublesome history. What do we make of that?

Anyhoo.

Consider that Black men and black women have a history of antagonism that dates back to antebellum times – one of the funniest scenes in Birth of a Nation is watching the “black” (LOL!) women chastise the “black” (LOL) men. Granted, it was a film based on a propagandist novel, but this trope repeats itself over and over again in literature, film, and music, mostly propagated by other black folks: (some) black American men and black American women have difficulty communicating, for centuries now. Nothing has changed about that. So (some) white women, or Asian women, or African women, or Jamaican women or whatever women just provide a clean slate – there is no history, no (emotional, colonial et al) baggage to unpack, not if love and companionship is the end-goal. No baggage that maps back to the “black women are bitches” or the “niggas ain’t sh*t” doctrine some black folks get from the womb. So women from other cultures appeal to some brothers because these women don’t have any expectations, low or otherwise. And many Bi-racial women (and men) don’t feel committed enough to one narrative to behave in any predictable, prescribed way. So it makes them behave DIFFERENTLY, NOT NECESSARILY BETTER.

I’m saying – beyond just the basic laws of attraction and compatibility, where we allow nature to take its course—that is the reason why some brothers express a preference and choose white women or women from other backgrounds. It isn’t about white women giving better head or giving up the butthole or being particularly pliant. The meme about the world’s warm reception of black men with white women on their arm is counterintuitive on its face, and just some fabricated bullsh*t. Plus, there are plenty of black women giving bomb-ass head, butthole-to-go, who will butter every kernel of corn on your cob and iron a crease in the buttcrack of your draws, if you ask them. Nah – the answer isn’t as simple as Slim says or you may like it to be. Some black men chose white women because it’s about taking the overall path of least resistance. Many brothers are looking for partners of any stripe, not opponents.

Consider that.

For fun, take a survey: how many black women do you know talk about needing a “strong” black man who can “handle” them? T’yeah. How many of those women are single? Ask yourself a question: After handling the world, who is the sadistic muthaf*cka who d’f*ck wants to come home and “handle” his mate? God Bless that simple bastard.

Anyhoo. Back to Slim.

Slim said many things that many Gentleman Liars prefer to say in the confines of the barbershop. And maybe that’s best, because there is a reason women don’t hang out in barbershops – because this is where (black) men speak freely. Black women don’t really want to know what black men think, without some kind of filter. They think they do. They Do Not. So, they should resolve to perhaps ask the black man in their life some question and promise he will not be penalized for answering honestly. People in hell should have ice water too, right?

No, but seriously women should stop asking black men what they think. They don’t want to know.

Offline Cheirel

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Re: Slim Thug, White Women, Gentlemen Liars....by jimi israel
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2010, 07:13:58 pm »
Touche' to that ...
But a woman and I do mean a woman has never been afraid of the answer to any question put forth to any man, woman or fish.
You may not like the answer but there is always a price for playing grown people games with ... :-*

Offline jefferson L.O.B. sergeant

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Re: Slim Thug, White Women, Gentlemen Liars....by jimi israel
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2010, 07:18:41 pm »
This makes me think of a Professor who was having an extended Youtube debate which spawned the following.

The End of Hood Scholarship.

A lot of what is being spewed in terms of the relationships between Black men and women are coming from people with very little: insight, education, and discernment.

A lot of Black women are honestly looking at reality TV and celebrities to define their sensibilities when it comes to dating. It has become a sick joke at this point.

The next Black female: R&B singer, rapper, actress, gossip columnist etc. who gives advice on dating while being:Barren, bitter and belligerent should probably be ignored.

Offline Vic Vega

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Re: Slim Thug, White Women, Gentlemen Liars....by jimi israel
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2010, 07:03:25 am »
For fun, take a survey: how many black women do you know talk about needing a “strong” black man who can “handle” them? T’yeah. How many of those women are single? Ask yourself a question: After handling the world, who is the sadistic muthaf*cka who d’f*ck wants to come home and “handle” his mate? God Bless that simple bastard.

Quoted for truth.

And I usually think israel's a clown so that's saying a lot.