World Cup Fans Chose Museums Over Hookers
Prior to the World Cup, officials in South Africa were bracing for an influx of up to 40,000 prostitutes to handle horny soccer fans. But the need never materialized, with visitors largely choosing "cultural" activities, like art museums, instead.
South African escort services, bummed that they never reaped massive profits, are ready for these international prudes to leave: "The World Cup has been devastating. We thought it was going to be a cash cow but it's chased a lot of the business away. It's been the worst month in my company's history," one madame, "Tori," told CNN. She continued, "No one is interested in sex at the moment. I think we've had three customers who traveled here for the World Cup which has seen my group's business drop by 80 percent. I enjoyed watching the games, but I can't wait for everyone to just go home now!"
But where hookers have failed, museums have gained. Johannesburg's Apartheid Museum saw it's number of visitors jump by nearly three times. "We thought people were coming here for the soccer and party but we've been pleasantly surprised. Some of the teams visited too," according to the museum's deputy director.
So what happened? Drunken football fans are supposed to party, puke and make poor decisions while on vacation, no?
Send an email to Jeff Neumann, the author of this post, at email@example.com
"I'm sorry. You've contacted a STD" (cue vuvuzela)
SausageParty 11:42 AM
Unfortunately, South Africa's Health ministers didn't consider HIV to be a threatening disease requiring public education and awareness until very recently. It's kind of a boner-killer. DeeLite 11:40 AM
doesn't South Africa have one of, if not the highest rate of AIDS in the world? Reply
oh no i di'n't 11:44 AM
@DeeLite: Yes. Reply
The Curse of Millhaven 11:54 AM
@DeeLite: It is a proud day for a nation when they discover that they are so famous for stds that their hookers can't get work.