Author Topic: This Time  (Read 6894 times)

Offline Cage

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This Time
« on: August 18, 2010, 10:18:26 pm »
Well my Brethren.  Your boy is about to do it again tomorrow.  After six years of dating, two years of owning a house together and eleven years of friendship we are getting married.  A stark contrast from my last trip down this road.  The first time I ended a three year Law school relationship for the wrong reasons: Race & Religion.  Basically, both of mine were wrong.  Apparently a Black Christian was unacceptable to this particular set of Palestinian/Muslim parents.  To this day I have nothing but warm feelings and love for that woman but not seeing her for thirteen years has softened the blow considerably. I was determined to be with a black Christian woman and that is what I found about a week after it ended.  We dated a month (our first date was at church and we swore the pastor was preaching to us out of Jeremiah: "Build ye houses, take ye wives....") got engaged, then married a year later.  I realized three months before hand that it was a mistake but did it anyway (had I any courage at all I would have called it off).  The great thing about that marriage is my daughter.   I posted here some time ago that it was difficult because of the distance both literally and figuratively, but we have been working on it and she recently spent three weeks with me and we had a great time together. The problem with it is that we built a (figurative) house on a foundation of nothing.  We didn't know each other or even ourselves.  We dated for that month and then spent the next year planning a wedding in two different states (Mass and NC).  So now I turn the page on a new chapter.  My wife to be is Haitian and that presents a new set of experiences and personal growth opportunities.  For example, after the rehearsal events I spent the past few hours with her father who just arrived from  Canada.  He speaks French primarily and is able to communicate with me in English.  I speak no French, no Haitian Creole and nothing of the other two languages he speaks. Yet he is warm and we have a great relationship and hung out just me and him for two hours (and we enjoyed a bottle of Barbancourt together!)  As I mentioned earlier, we are friends and have been for eleven years.  We have built a literal home on the foundation of our friendship, relationship and ups and downs.  I'm not foolish enough to say I know that this is perfect and will be forever.  But I am confident enough to say that we have been planning a marriage for the past six years even when we had no idea that we would still be together.  Its been built on trust, friendship, respect and admiration.  I'm sharing this because I've been a little distant from the forum, but i can't help but feel like this place is like the dining room table.  No matter how long I've been gone I can sit down with my family, break bread, be myself and put my thing down.  So if you are near a drink Thursday the 19th  of August at about 6:00 pm.  Throw one down for your boy, send me some love and a good wish.  Your boy, Cage. 
I ventured into the courtyard followed by 52 brothers bruised battered and scarred but hard.

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Re: This Time
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2010, 11:32:00 pm »
Cage....I am SO HAPPY for you.  It's so wonderful to hear how you have learned from love, whether it go right or wrong.  I pray this is it for you, and a pray even harder that this relationship makes it easier for you to spend time with your daughter.  As a parent myself, any time I hear about children separated from parents, parents who want to be with their parents but are being used a pawns, it hurts me to my soul.

Offline Magic Wand

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Re: This Time
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2010, 02:38:29 am »
Congratulations, Cage!

May the Blessings continue to flow!

Love you, Brother!
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." --Aristotle, Greek philosopher

Доверяй, но проверяй

Offline Curtis Metcalf

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Re: This Time
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2010, 05:19:14 am »
There is a lot of wisdom in that post, Cage. Thank you for sharing with us.

Here's wishing you continued love and happiness.

I will be having that toast around 6pm in honor of you and your bride:
Meilleurs voeux!
(Et laissez les bon temps rouler!)
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
"Be hard on systems, but soft on people."

Offline JLI Jesse

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Re: This Time
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2010, 08:22:37 am »
Congrats buddy!


Offline Vic Vega

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Re: This Time
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2010, 08:36:07 am »
Congrats, Good Luck and God Bless! ;D ;D ;D

Offline Lion

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Re: This Time
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2010, 10:06:34 am »
Congratulations, Cage! Wish all the best for you both!

Offline Catch22

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Re: This Time
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2010, 10:24:30 am »
Congrats, Cage!!!  I wish you all the best!

Offline Afro Samurai

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Re: This Time
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2010, 12:27:54 pm »
CONGRATS

Hopefully you can show us the wedding pics  ;D ;D ;D ;D
INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS IS A SIN!!!!!! YOU'LL DIE QUICKER AND ALSO BURN IN HELL. THOSE ARE THE FACTS, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!

Offline Wise Son

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Re: This Time
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2010, 03:11:15 pm »
Congratulations Cage, that's fantastic news, and I wish you a happy day, and happy years to follow!

"Children, if you are tired, keep going; if you are hungry, keep going; if you want to taste freedom, keep going."
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Offline Battle

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Re: This Time
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2010, 07:09:29 am »
That's very good news!   I wish you and your future wife and children nothing but the best!

Offline Cage

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Re: This Time
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2010, 11:07:33 am »
CONGRATS

Hopefully you can show us the wedding pics  ;D ;D ;D ;D


Thank you all.  We had a great time.  We wanted to have a party and that's just what happened. Our wedding party walked into the reception to "Got to give it up" by Marvin Gaye, we walked in to  "O Fortuna" then did about a minute and a half dance to "You and I" by Stevie, then had everyone willing and able join us in doing her favorite dance the electric slide to "Ain't no stoppin us now" by Luther.  Ain't no Stoppin us Now and "We've only just begun" were our two "theme" songs for our wedding and marriage. After the opening the tone was set to have fun and I think just about everyone did. The pictures are slowly trickling in on facebook and I will try to post a few.

I ventured into the courtyard followed by 52 brothers bruised battered and scarred but hard.

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Re: This Time
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2010, 11:54:25 am »
This makes me SO HAPPY!!!!

Offline Cage

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Re: This Time
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2010, 12:29:28 pm »
This makes me SO HAPPY!!!!

Thank you brother.  Your advice some time ago about my daughter really helped me get to this point. I have many more stories but suffice it to say for now that the picture attached to this post features my wife and our daughter on the trolley on their way to the ceremony. During the vows (we prepared our own) the first thing she did was acknowledge her new daughter and quote "I promise to love you as my own, continue to have our special days together and make fun of your dad when he talks to the animals at the zoo."

I ventured into the courtyard followed by 52 brothers bruised battered and scarred but hard.

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Re: This Time
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2010, 12:32:57 pm »
Aw man, that picture must make you so happy.  I have no idea what I told you but if it resulted in that image, then I'm glad I said it.