Author Topic: Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...  (Read 6992 times)

Offline Sam Wilson

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Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« on: December 31, 2010, 08:48:54 pm »
Everyone wants to know how I do it.

I guess I should clarify that statement before I continue. I used to weight 550 lbs. Well, yeah, Iím not certain but it was well over 500.  I never really got on a scale that could accurately measure my weight. 550 was my best educated guess. I used to have a size 58 pants.  Before I would even register on a scale I had to get down to a size 50 pants, and then I finally started showing up at 440 lbs so my best guess is I started at 550 lbs in February 2007.  I had a final ďretreatĒ meal (Iíll explain that in a minute) of a large cheese-steak, a full size bag of kettle chips and a diet coke and then I started the next day with my new lifestyle.

I say retreat meal because retreating was why I ate the way I did. I was retreating from everything. I hated my life and I hated myself.  I lost the only job I ever loved (my short time as a police officer) for reasons I had no control over.  My only sense of self-identity up until that point was being the biggest and meanest guy in the room, and at one point I may have been the most muscular but I was slowly just becoming ďbigĒ as in fat. Obese. When people would try to be nice about it they said ďwow, youíre a big guyĒ but they meant, ďdamn, you are unhealthyĒ.  It wouldnít have mattered if they had actually said that, I wouldnít have listened. I mean, people did say it. My friends, my wife, they all said they were worried and they all tried to help but I didnít listen and I didnít care. Eating was a retreat and it gave me something. It was an escape, an instant gratification.  It almost killed me though, until I figured it out and came all the way back.

I started by acknowledging I had no idea what I was doing. I told my wife I didnít want to make decisions for myself anymore because clearly I had no idea how to take care of myself and asked her if she would make all pertinent decisions about my health and my diet for me. At least for awhile.  She was a medical professional and sought the aid of a dietician and a personal trainer. In conjunction with my wife the people at my gym provided me a lot of support.  Deidre, the manager, had known me for a few years. I started going there when I was still big and strong and had that going for me, but in a couple of years I had lost it and was just getting unhealthy. She saw this and offered me some help. She told me she was worried about me and would do whatever it took to help me get on track and she did. She had a trainer work with me and she provided me emotional support, which doesnít seem like anything but to someone who hated himself it was a lot. In fact it was everything. If it werenít for her support or my wifeís I never would have gotten started, and now here I sit. 4 years later, 250 some pounds lighter, and post-surgery. I finally got to the point where I needed to have the excess skin around my abdomen removed, about 15 lbs of it after they were all done. And Deidre and my wife were there for that too (in fact, Deidre and the gym paid for it). 

So I sit here typing this going a little crazy, I just had the surgery 4 days ago and I have a couple hundred stitches across my abdomen. I canít exercise and I havenít left the house since the surgery, and I canít leave the house until Tuesday which is my post-op and I get my drains removed.    But Iíve had visitors, people who have been with me ever since I started, and new people I just met who say Iím an inspiration (which I dismiss, I mean, as I said, I put myself in that position to begin with so I donít see how I did anything inspirational).  Either way, these are all people who love me and have supported me, and without that I never would have gotten here. My wife has been doting on me and showing me love she knows Iíve never had. Even though itís hard to see through all my anxiety and self-deprecation, I hope she knows I love her the same way.  The bottom line is though, itís just starting, it hasnít ended the path is the same as it always was.  Inspirational, no, at least I donít think so. Mental illness? More than likely, if it is hereditary then yes, mental illness for sure. Either way, Iím going to chase after itÖ

http://chopsuey1.blogspot.com/

Offline Curtis Metcalf

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Re: Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2011, 08:27:39 am »
Inspiration, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Let me try to explain why you are an inspiration to me.

If I have faith in anything, I believe in the human spirit and our capacity to change. However, as a realist, I have to acknowledge that much human potential goes unfulfilled. Knowing you gives me a touchstone for my faith. You have transcended your personal demons to effect a dramatic change for health and life. Equally important, even while going through your turmoil, you found a way to serve others.

Thank you for telling your story with so much honesty and insight, yet another act of heroism. I will be sharing your blog widely. It's already up on the Hudlin Entertainment site. Know this -- we're proud of you.
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
"Be hard on systems, but soft on people."

Offline Cheirel

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Re: Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2011, 12:42:11 pm »
Sam it takes real strength to share something so personal. In truth you really don't know how many people you are touching and helping with ever word you have shared.

Your title is "I got nothing" ... I don't know it sounds more like you got everything.

Offline Vic Vega

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Re: Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2011, 06:14:32 pm »
You made a change in your life where most just make excuses.

That to me is huge.  I havent seen too many folks manage it and the first time i ever do it myself I'll let you know.

Congrats, man.

Offline Hypestyle

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Re: Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2011, 11:41:47 am »
congrats to Sam W., continue to be blessed..  :)
Be Kind to Someone Today.

Offline Wise Son

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Re: Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2011, 03:22:09 pm »
Damn, Sam. You have made exactly the right kind of changes, and the kind that are so hard for everyone, impossible for most. The strength you have shown, and the love and support you have had from the people around you are all inspirational.

"Children, if you are tired, keep going; if you are hungry, keep going; if you want to taste freedom, keep going."
-Harriet Tubman
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Offline Tanksleyd

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Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2011, 08:15:23 pm »
In the course of my life "walking" (at my own slow and/or fast pace) has been a blessing.

A fish's body was made to swim.

A cheetah's body was made to run.

A human body was made to walk.

Offline Tanksleyd

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Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2011, 09:27:31 pm »
Once I forced my son on a 2 hour walk. At the end of the day he said it was therapeutic.

Kinda like Jared (Of Subway fame, among other things).

Offline Tanksleyd

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Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2011, 03:29:43 pm »
About ten years ago, long after I realized that I could feel the effects of walking even in my finger tips and when it dawned on me that my lifetime "hobby" was actually good for my health I make it a point to even walk in circles when I'm at a "stop" (Red light, heavy car traffic, etc). Even if walking slow just the very fact that the body is at constant motion maintains an elevated cardio-vascular rate (Again even at a slow pace). From all that I read (YEARS, DECADES after I discovered that I LIKED walking) this constant even slow motion is key in gaining benefits from what the human body was created to do:

Walk.

Offline Sam Wilson

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Re: Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2011, 06:25:44 am »
Once I forced my son on a 2 hour walk. At the end of the day he said it was therapeutic.

Kinda like Jared (Of Subway fame, among other things).

forcing someone to make a change is a great way to get them to quit. Change is something you have to come to peace with on your own.

Offline Tanksleyd

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Sam Wilson's Blog, "I got nothing"...
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2011, 06:39:44 am »
Since that moment/time he walks a lot more on his own. I guess I did it at an impressionable time.

Pete Best said it best: "It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me who ends up getting wet". (Rain is the only thing that inhibits my walking)

Still though I honestly wish you a good life. Apparently you GOT a lot of friends in your corner. (I'm actually jealous)
« Last Edit: January 10, 2011, 09:28:20 am by Tanksleyd »