Author Topic: Stupid Divorce Mistakes Most Guys Make  (Read 2675 times)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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Stupid Divorce Mistakes Most Guys Make
« on: January 21, 2011, 03:00:14 pm »
from ASYLUM:

Nov 11th 2008 By Richard Ortiz

Stupid Divorce Mistakes Most Guys Make

Here's one thing every guy should know: it's estimated that women initiate 75 percent of all divorces.

Whether you're betrothed, engaged or even miles away from the aisle, it might be worth your time to think about the possibilities. Divorce happens, and when it does, it can't hurt to be prepared. Making mistakes in the face of a divorce -- particularly your tabloid-style nasty ones -- could mean losing your home, your business, your finances and -- if you have them -- your children.

If you're sloppy, prone to ignoring your loved ones or tend to be a little lazy, you need to click here to read the top 10 dumbest mistakes men make when faced with divorce.

#10 Being ill-prepared for testimony
Maybe winging it got you through college, but the stakes are much higher now. A good lawyer will coach you on how to present your case. You'll need to know what to emphasize, what to leave out and how to answer the tough questions from the other side's lawyer. Think of it as the oral exam of your life!

#9 Not taking outside consultants seriously
Many recommendations that your judge will hear during your case will likely come from outside consultants. Your attorney should help you prepare to talk to the psychologists and other experts.

#8 Doing a quick and sloppy job on financial records
You don't keep great records of what you spend? Most guys don't. But, if you can't account for money left over at the end of the month, it will likely go to your soon-to-be-ex. Now would be a good time to invest in a copy of Quicken or some other money-tracking tool.

#7 Neglecting the kids
Quick, what's your child's teacher's name? When did he last go to the doctor, and while you're at it, what's the pediatrician's name? Most men want to contest the custody arrangements that their wives propose. Now is always the best time to start getting more involved in your kid's life. While you're at it, why not start keeping a scrapbook?

#6 Talking too much -- especially to your wife
Most guys can't resist getting sucked into conversations or verbal sparring during conflicts. This is not the time to share! You don't have to prove that you have the upper hand or blow off steam. Remember, everything you tell her will find its way back to her lawyer.

#5 Failing to push your lawyer for a quicker trial, better temporary orders or, if necessary, a new judge
Before you go to trial, your judge will assign what are called temporary orders to set the rules until the divorce is final. Speak up if those orders seem unfair. If it's a long time until your trial date, judges will often make their final decisions based on the observation that it's worked this long, so why change it?

#4 Concealing information from your lawyer
It's natural to be embarrassed and to hide the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of. Don't do that with your lawyer. If your wife knows about it, her attorney is going to know about it. Give your lawyer the whole story, pretty or not.

#3 Choosing a lawyer too quickly
Most guys spend more time choosing a two-year cell phone plan than an attorney whose service will influence the rest of their lives. Do some research. Interview more than one attorney. His or her guidance will likely affect you for the next 50 years or so.

#2 Waiting for your wife to file for divorce
When they discover that they are headed for divorce, many men invite their wives to take the initiative to "go ahead and file." It is a delicate situation when a marriage hangs in the balance. But, if it is clear that she wants a divorce, filing first will allow you to assume a proactive role rather than a defensive one. Momentum often translates to a strategic advantage.

#1 Moving out
Guys often move out thinking that it will help the transition, be easier on the wife and kids or even help save the marriage. To the courts, moving out often means you are abandoning your claim on the house, the children and your belongings.

Rick Ortiz is the editor of, an online resource for men at any stage of divorce. Advice in this article is adapted from his upcoming book, "The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce" and popular seminar presented by Cordell & Cordell, PC.

Offline BlackRodimus

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Re: Stupid Divorce Mistakes Most Guys Make
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2011, 12:35:19 am »
Should #1 on Stupid Divorce Mistakes Most Guy Make be instead getting married in the first place?
"don't fight the power, be the power" - Reginald Hudlin