Author Topic: 19 Stupid Lies Weve Told Dudes Weve Dated By Frisky  (Read 1997 times)

Offline Reginald Hudlin

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19 Stupid Lies Weve Told Dudes Weve Dated By Frisky
« on: March 11, 2012, 02:01:06 pm »

19 Stupid Lies Weve Told Dudes Weve Dated By Frisky
by CN on March 10, 2012 with 0 Comments in Chris Please Post , Keepin' It Real
Okay, so sometimes we fib a little bit when were dating a guy. Not about the big stuff like our name or what we do for a living. Its not that we mean to be dishonest, its just that our politeness, insecurity or desire to dazzle get in the way of the truth. And sometimes, before we know it, weve told you we read all of David Foster Wallaces books, when really weve only read all of DFWs book jackets. We meant to read the books in their entirety, we just havent gotten around to it yet. Anyhow, what were trying to say is that were sorry for all the stupid lies weve told. Were coming clean after the jump.
Im totally over my ex. Im still Facebook stalking him and fantasizing about him sexually on a regular basis, but other than that, hes old news.
I havent had sex with anyone in a while. Last week is a while, right?
Im not on anxiety meds. As long as you dont look in my medicine cabinet, Im not.
I really like bluegrass music. Yeah, I really like to laugh at people who listen to it.
Im not looking for a relationship. My ass, Im not. I just didnt want to overwhelm you on our fourth date.
This scar on my thumb? Oh, I once cracked a beer bottle over a guys head when he grabbed my ass and the glass cut me. Actually, I broke a glass doing dishes and thats how I cut my hand, but the bar fight story makes me seem like so much more of a badass.
Yeah, I surf. I surfed once.
Youre the only guy Im dating. Today.
Im not wearing any makeup right now. If you dont count primer, foundation, concealer, blush and touch of eyeliner I have on, I am a natural beauty.
Of course Ive read David Foster Wallace. The ol DFW lie never hurt anyone. Its not like youre in a book club with him.
I love Jodorowsky movies. See above. This fits into the DFW lie category.
Ethiopian food sounds great. As long as you dont plan on being anywhere near my ass afterwards.
Ive never cheated. You dont really need to know about the one time I kissed that guy at my sisters wedding when we just started dating. You just wouldnt get it.
Its really cute when you use emoticons. I cant think of anything more un-cute.
You have the most amazing d**k in the whole world. This is just standard good manners in bed lie.
Nice car. You drive a souped up El Camino with flame decals? Really?
Its so sweet that you only listen to Incubus. Maybe idiotic is a better word choice.
I love your cooking. Yummy! Burnt scrambled eggs and too strong coffee for breakfast again!
Yeah, I had an orgasm. Its funny how every guy claims to know the difference between a real and a fake one. Bwhahahahaha!