In the Neighborhood, Midnight between Day 2 and 3
The women returned to the apartment building. We needed to talk, our emotions were on edge. We hadn’t looted, we hadn’t burned, but each one of us had returned carrying a bottle of alcohol from the looted liquor store. The random comments we tossed around were mirrored reflections of both our confusion and our innermost thoughts…..
"Can you believe this…the cops and the National Guard?"
"Wonder if they live in the neighborhood?"
"At least they left Manny’s alone.."
"That’s because the fellows were there…maybe"
"The fellows couldn’t have stopped that mob if they had really wanted to bust out Manny’s.."
"I don’t like this martial law nonsense…do you really think they would have shot us?"
"Hell yes, they would have shot us…we’re BLACK and they think all of us are looting.."
"The guy on the corner got busted because he has such a nasty attitude…plus he overcharges on everything… he and doing right are not acquainted…"
"Why do you think 14th Street got burned out? Almost everybody I know shopped there. Couple of those businesses were black-owned."
"You ever been in that grocery store at 14th and Clifton? The meat in there is spoiled rotten…you can smell it from the doorway…"
"You know…I heard they truck in that bad meat from the suburban stores…our store is not like that…"
"Course our store isn’t, we pay more rent than the folks in the apartments at 14th and Clifton…"
"There’s more white people in this neighborhood…the only white people on Clifton are those two guys who teach at Cardozo….those Peace Corps teachers…"
"How long is this sh*t going to last…if I don’t go to work, I don’t get paid…"
"You and everybody else…"
"Are the fellows back yet?"
"Don’t think they are coming til morning..Somebody else might try hitting Manny’s…"
"With Dr. King dead,,,,who’s gonna’ lead the Movement?"
"You got through to your folks yet…I can’t get a call outside the area"
"You got an extra pillow…and a blanket…I’m not staying in that apartment by myself..I’m sleeping here til Baby gets back…"
We all stayed in one apartment that night.
Hillbilly Views
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When I was asked to participate in this blogging thing I had no idea what that really entailed. Should I try to be funny, insightful, a politico; do I have time to contribute to a blog? After all, I’m very busy procrastinating.
After conversations with a few different people, I surmised that blogging is all about writing about a subject you feel strongly about which is why I came to the conclusion that my first blog should be The Seinfeld Blog, namely…a blog about absolutely nothing. Just as Seinfeld was a show about nothing, my blog entry will essentially be that, a blog about nothing because I have no strong feelings or opinions about anything right now. Not to imply that I don’t care about the things we all care about, family, friends, all the bullsh*t happening in the world today, it’s more of a disengagement. I have mentally and physically disengaged.
Everything has become too much, personal family issues, the war, the recession; every day people are dying senseless deaths, losing jobs, homes, their general sense of concern for others and to deal with it all many are turning to drugs, alcohol, shopping with money they don’t have, anything to dull the pain and divorce themselves from reality. Me, I find that the best way to deal with it all is to disengage.
As a deeply empathetic person, I simply cannot take the feelings of hopelessness associated with caring about the plight of others and the seemingly insurmountable sadness that comes from knowing yet not understanding why situations and people in general are so f’d up. It is very difficult to take on another’s pain or mentally walk a mile in someone else’s shoes every day, but this is what I’ve done in the past and this is why at this moment I find myself disengaged.
Simply put, I am tired. Tired of seeing people I care about suffer from the pain of loss, abuse at home, abuse in the work place, tired of watching the news and seeing people losing their lives to terrorists and their homes to financial and natural disasters. I sometimes wish I was one of those people who only cared about me and what was happening in my immediate world, but I could never be that person, so for the moment I remain disengaged. It’s probably not the ideal way to deal with things, but given the alternatives I’ll go with it for now.
I say for now because I know me and I know that soon I will once again be fully engaged, fighting the good fight, trying to solve the problems of those closest to me by any means necessary whether it be lending an ear, giving advice or offering to put hands on somebody (I kid, I kid), I’ll soon be back in action.
As with Seinfeld, the show about nothing that touched on damn near every bit of minutia that makes up every day life, so will the blog of Blackie O. Stay tuned.
Blackie O
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